LOO’s Birthday Week @ Pink Galleon, 1243 Castillons Arcade Blvd., Creve Coeur
Hash Trash: Big-Hump Trail #1785 - Lack of Oxygen Birthday trail
I've been on 308 trails and I've never seen anything like this. Sit down, buckle up, and get ready to experience what some have called "God Damn It, Where The Fuck Is The Trail?!?"
This may have been an area of St. Louis that I've never hashed in. At least I don't remember ever hashing here. I pulled up and was greeted by Lack of Oxygen and Whiney Bitch clugging some cans in the parking lot next to a dumpster. Some might say it's the perfect place to start a trail. LOO informed me that there were no beermeisters coming, but I could help myself to his trunk beers. It was filled with ice, Miller Lite, and Busch Lite Peach. Since I could eat a peach for hours(Face Off starring John Travolta & Nic Cage), I tried the Busch Light Peach. It tasted like a peach New York Seltzer and was surprisingly good. Couldn't drink more than one though. Hashers rolled in and we had a motley group of 13. LOO had already set the chalk talk in pink flour right next to his car and out of the circle. I think he explained that it was pink to distinguish his marks from his sudden co-hare's(Roll Her In Flour) Eagle Trail marks of white flour. Huh? Whatever. Whiney started circle and then stated that I would be finishing it, much to my nervous chagrin. It's been a while since I’ve been the RA and what if I forgot all the songs? Nonsense. I know all the songs. Lack of Oxygen said that it was a dead trail, except the live Eagle's Trail in white flour, and vigorously pointed to the West and said, "Trial starts that way!" Walkers were away and runners were given a 10 minute cranium start.
Ten minutes later, we could see the walker's stumbling around the corner of Olive and Fee Fee, about 50 yards from the start. This did not bode well. We took off and got to the corner to find a chick check and walkers every which way but loose. We checked every direction three times and must have run a mile trying to find trail. Get this. Chick Check on the Northeast corner of Olive/Fee Fee. One pink dot on the Southwest corner of Olive/Fee Fee which then lead to the second dot just past the Southeast corner of Olive/Fee Fee! On-On? We're still not sure. We found a couple of more dots down Olive and off of Olive and back on again. We quickly realized that trail could go in any direction off of any dot. Marvelous! We followed trail to behind a Schnucks and a dead end chick check before I realized the hare had given us the beer stop location on my Facebook trail pictures. On On to Ross Elementary! The Hare did a great job of keeping the pack together and then a great job of scattering the pack in every direction all at once. No Panty Granny, Strap On, and Do You Wanna Hit This? followed me down Olive in a leisurely pace to the Beer Stop. Responsibilibitch was DFL, but only because Just Craig, who was walking with her, took off in a dead sprint 20 yards away from the beer stop. We complained that we never saw any white flour marks and were informed that Roll Her In Flour would be setting the Eagle Trail on the back half of trail. Strange.
We followed the pink marks after the beer stop for a little bit until they turned invisible in the darkness. I don't know if anyone took the Eagle or not. Circle had all of the usual down downs. Backsliders, birthdays, shiggy socks, not wearing shiggy socks, hash attire, lack of whistles, etc. The hares overwhelmingly won the Hash Shit with no other nominations, and it was well deserved. There was no announcement for Lock Nut Monster’s Saturday’s trail, mostly because we never saw Lock Nut again after the mess at the beginning. Good for him. All in all, it was just another shitty trail where we almost got hit on Olive like a million times.
Forever yours in the bond of hashing,
Never use pink flour. Ever.