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Wednesday 11/09/2011 #976

Bozo's Wet Dream & 2:19 From Chicago @ South City

Hash Trash:

The night began as many Wednesdays do for BJ and the Bear (yeah, 3rd person here, fuck off), with a mad dash around St. Louis, 20 minutes “late” with only an iPhone and a fuzzy sense of direction to guide him. After driving by Colorado Bob’s, Lucy was spotted walking to the stealthy circle location apparently only easily visible to small pickup trucks and cops, and the fun began.

Thanks to the hares for an entertaining rendition of chalk talk and congratulations on making it all the way through without falling down or napping mid way. Special thanks to Dewey for alerting said cops to the presence of a tall dark man with log in hand undressing while walking around her vehicle…way to keep our city streets safe. Thanks to Postage for making it his personal civic duty to resolve job inequality by giving not one but two jobs to a minority hasher…FRB log and hash shit. Asshole.

As we got rolling with chalk talk it was evident why the hares were light on flour as 2:19 shoveled it two hands at a time to craft demo trail marks while Bozo stood idly by contemplating the mysteries of the universe and clinching her coke purse tightly. Naming was fun; didn’t know there was a written questionnaire going around for the process but thank goodness because Shoeless Hoe Jackson (F.K.A. Just Molly) wasn’t giving us shit and that ends bad for all parties involved (ref. I.L.S.C., circa Aug 2011). Of the names discussed Shoeless Hoe stole the show but “Eat This, Virgin Mary”, “Jesus Caulk/Cock”, “Colon Blow” weren’t far behind. The winning name flows well and was timely as Shoeless Hoe Jackson made BJ look more presidential by throwing her shoe at him only to have CTBRP (Cliff, Red, Pussy, Big Red….fucking acronize or abbreviate your name and standardize that shit) launch her would be weapon into a field of shit…literally.

Trail sucked, but not excessively so. The first few markings looked like a scene out of Scarface (kilos and kilos of “flour”) but did the job and led us on a spirited jaunt across rail road tracks (who needs ankles), through peoples’ yards (fuck yo couch!), around bridges, over (under) fences, near a sewage plant (thanks) and down some of the best pavement St Louis has to offer.  Great chick checks (TSA agrees) and good job not getting BJ lost. $5 get’s the clutch award for dipping into his personal road stash for beer at the end but we’re all winners for not getting shot, shot at, arrested, or fucked by a stranger (less 1 of us perhaps?) as a result of the hash.

More to say but the tax payers have paid enough for the writing of this shit. Good work hares….and was it me or was there a heavy preponderance of drunk-asses last night?  

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999