I start this story with a bruised liver and sickness in the stomach as I sip my coffee over at Dewey's. --Somewhere in the land of Lafayette Square that looked more like the ghetto, I met with my lover-ly hash friends in the parking lot. Night starting normal, it only started going down hill as quickly as possible. P s t g Tramp quickly corralled us like the heard of thirsty sheep, filling in holes of circle where I promptly told him I'd rather be talking to Toxic and Shiggy than filling in any holes. After starting we quickly realized a MASS of virgins that Just Marjy had brought. After a set of very complicated instructions, telling us no id on trail ten times, and us all getting west nile from standing in circle, P s t g Tramp quickly blessed Rudy McToodles and we were off.
It only took us an amazing two hundred feet before Five Bucks promptly got us lost at the entrance to Foodland before we getting back on trail. This also let the walkers catch up to us. After finding trail, I quickly realized, yes this really is a Rudy trail when every 300 feet there was another chick check. Quickly, I slowed down letting Tig 'ole Bitties and Diggity get me lost. Okay so there really isn't too much to tell about the run. I don't know if its cause I don't remember or if its cause it was boring....maybe both?? Rudy McToodles made us stop for a shot stop of Peppermint Schnapps where I let everyone else finish the bottle. Then we took off and a passer-by-er-person asked P s t g Tramp if we drank Scope before the run. Finally we ended up in Lafayette Square where Rudy McToodles had some great German beer waiting for us. I don't know what it is cause all German beer tastes the same to me. After letting the mosquitoes catch up to us we were off again for a short walk to the start where the fun really began.
Circle began with a lot more light bulb flashing in the face by Popeye's Other Bitch and the virgins once again looked lost and didn't know whether to stay or to go. Popeye's Other Bitch bought gay porn (which he denies) to bring to circle just to trump Whiney's gaping huge va-jay-jay picture last week. Anywhoo, I once again was too engrossed by my Magic Hat IPA which was promptly getting me drunk than what was really going on in circle. I remember the MASS of virgins getting called into circle. Yup, now it's become apparent Just Marjy knows more people than you have friends on Facebook and must love us so she keeps pleasing us by bringing virgins that don't show ANY hidden body parts. Diggity blessed Just Brian with his ten band where he demonstrated his amazing limberness doing a down down without his hands. I vote for naming him Upward Dog. Halley's 100th run was celebrated by Tig ole Bitties trying to look for the 100th year old department at the party store only to be told there isn't any so she just bought a one and two regular balloons which PMS and I wanted to re-arrange so they looked like a cock and balls. Like I said, I was busy getting drunk. Circle ended with Popeye's Other Bitch getting hash shit for bringing gay porn and instead of drinking the beer he threw it on Dewey and I getting us wet.
Next thing I know we are at the Gast Haus where they serve beers steins as big as your head. I don't remember too much other than Popeye's Other Bitch trying to redeem his gay porn by trying to get Dewey and I to go home with him. All-in-all I'd rather have an Irish-Guinness drinking Rudy than a German drinking one but none-the-less, tis was another shitty ass trail.
McFist-in Her O'Furry Ass where the hell is the Guinness at.