Is anyone else still dizzy from running in circles?!?! One of the hares of the evening recently completed a 32 mile run which consisted of running in circles for 6 hours straight. Apparently he wanted the rest of the hash family to see what this experience was like so he set a miniature version for us to enjoy. Was "circle jerk" ever mentioned on this trail?
The theme of the night was "gansta hash" and ALPO , Shot by a Whore and Fuck Me Pumps were the hares. There were saggy pants, boxers (and a butt crack) and a few "shizzles" thrown into the lingo. Did I happen to mention the location was in Kirkwood… directly across the street from an Audi dealership and next door to a convent? Oh yes….. it doesn't get any more gangsta than this. The hares sported typical red and blue gang colors. To the boyz in pink (Halley and Rudy), which gang did you represent?
I don't remember anything exciting about circle so I'll just skip right to trail. If this is not an accurate description of trail, someone please correct me: Run 2 feet until you encounter a check, run around the block, find another check, then repeat until you have done this for 6 miles. Did I leave anything out? Didn't think so.
On-On to the beer stop. This is where the magic happened my friends. Let me begin by thanking Just Katie for lending her house for the location of the beer stop. The beer stop began as any other typical beer stop does but this particular beer stop took a disturbing turn. As I'm sitting back enjoying a cold beverage, I hear "just the tip, come on, just the tip" in what appears to be Locknut's voice. I'm thinking "seriously Locknut?!?!? We're at the beer stop… can't you keep it in your pants at least until after circle!!!" I must apologize for thinking this because it was not Locknut talking, it was bungle dog. I look over to find bungle dog slyly making a move on PTA's innocent pup. He slowly crept up on the other canine before jumping on his back and…. Well…. Do I really need to elaborate any further? Finally it has been cleared up who is to blame for all the butt slapping that took place at bungle….
The pact ran in a few more circles before arriving back at the starting location. Despite what felt like a 6 mile run, with all the circle jerks I don't think we ever made it more than a ½ mile from the starting location. Back at circle, hashers were called in for various random crimes. A Canadian picked up a midget along trail. Disco refused to share some lovely boobs. Preschoolers became pros at doing down downs. In the end, Hummers took home the prize. I'm not sure the exact reason but it was either for excessive humping on trail or because she was taking away bungle dogs manhood the following day. Please let me clarify something for you all……"this is NOT her dog!!!!!"
To end this trash, I'd like to say it was great to see burning asshole out and about and I wish him well on his recovery. For right now he is calling himself "Broken down Asshole".
Tig Ol' Bitties