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Wednesday 05/05/2010 #859

Senor Gladdy & Hummers Para Libre & Jorge-Spot @ Cinco de Mayo w/our resident Mexicans

Hash Trash:

Tres Pesos Tres Pesos Tres Pesos triumphantly traversed the crowd of twentysomethings on the patio, holding aloft two big boxes of Del Taco tastiness. He rescued us from the hares' failure to provide food at the on-after. Whiney Bitch carried a pitcher of Shock Top around for about an hour. Just Rebecca kept Stinkpalm entertained. The band played Dwight Yoakam's "Fast As You."
Before that, Jort Daniels was awarded Hashshit after losing a trial-by-down-down to Witty Titty, for the crime of forgetting his own name. Firsh hash named, second hash wins the prize - he's on a roll. Before that, a bunch of people did down-downs for failing to talk to the virgins on trail, for wearing cranium gear, for being fast or slow, and for disrespecting the RA.
Before that, there was a margarita stop. Scrooge McFuck had a fight with a pinata and lost. Shot By A Whore had to wrestle the thing to the ground while I Like Big Bush And I Cannot Lie pulled its entrails out. Cute little bottles of liquor were quickly dispersed and consumed. But where are the condoms? What's a pinata without condoms?
Before that, there was a bunch of trail. The runners didn't get lost enough, and the walkers got lost too much. But what the hell, it's the Central West End. There is beer hiding in buildings all over the place. There is even haggis!
Before that, we squoze through some fabulous shiggy. It was so tight that Sexorcist almost couldn't make it. Who knew so many trees could grow in the two feet of space between buildings?
Before that, there was a bunch of chalk talk. Hashers attempted to say their names in Spanish; a few succeeded. El Postito Tramp did not. Whatever wanker got the hashshit last week didn't bring it, but PMS has an endless supply of plungers in her car.

Witty Titty Carrot Committee

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