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Saturday 04/24/2010 #857

Free Mustache Rides & Dewey Sexual System @ Mustache's Birthday Trail

Hash Trash:

Ah the weather was a little damp for the Saturday HASH. It was starting to look like a boat might be necessary to get to the starting locale. A few of us ignored the greenish dark looking clouds and that loud siren that kept going off. I had to turn up the sound on my radio to drawn it out.
Found the parking lot right at 5 and only the hares car and nobody else. I was a little worried the hares might have been washed away. How would we get the car open to get the beer?
Princess arrived and we took shelter in the van awaiting the arrival of the hares and discussed the dilemma of the beer. Just when we decided to take matters in our own hands to free the beer, the hares came walking up. Much rejoice and the hashing gods took favor upon us as the flow of rain came to an abrupt end. Much much rejoice. Well, except for the hares, who were a little moist at this time from prelaying trail during the height of the monsoon. The best trail eve' had just washed down the gutters, so much flour never to enjoy its ultimate purpose; trail for the HASH. Such a waste. Ah but now a rarity was to be imposed on the run, a live trail. Such joy.
Another leftover keg from some event was tapped and the beer foam started filling our empty mugs. Hashers continued to trickle in; Just Scott came running up soaked; must have abandoned his car when it could not get through the high water from the rain. Gladdy and GSpot made it. All the key components of a HASH were making it. If we only had somebody fast enough to catch the hares, being a live trail opens up the possibility of a depantsing and voila 5 bucks has arrived. Yes. Hmmm, now if we only had a virgin, to complete the HASH. You asketh and you shall receive. A couple of back sliders; Just Bryan and Just Kyle brought virgin Just Steve. All the players were now here. Let the festivities begin. Oh wait lets not forget about the whiner; Whiney  Bitch had arrived with Just Iryna. Finally makes it on time. Hmm didn't want to take a chance the trail might have been washed away when you arrived after the pack left, aye.
Circle was formed and Gladdy shook off the rust (welcome back) and ran circle. The hares were called in for chalk talk and things were moving right along until Whiney. Oh, it was so strange usually the bitchin comes after the run, but Whiney interrupted chalk talk about something (is it ever really important). I believe the hares were caught off guard, because chalk talk stopped and Dewey and Mustache Rides were actually enthralled with Whiney's bitch-a-thon. Gladdy finally broke free and yelled at Whiney to shutup and let chalk talk proceed. Redish chalk was whipped out for the markings; hmm. low on flour, where could it have gone. The normal markings appeared dot, arrow, BN, BS BH; ah a beer halt, Clever hares. That'll keep the pack tied up for a bit. Grope shot was done and 15 minute timer was started. We had a few more mugs of beer foam and the on-out. Dang, I forgot to ask about the walkers trail. Pfft, it can't be that long of a trail now. I can make it.The pack takes off on trail. Hey is that O'Connell's Pub were passing. Um ya, I gotta use the restroom. Shall we wait for you Lazy? No no, I'll catch up. "Suckers"
As I was passing through the bar Meta and Seize Her had taken the initiative and reserved the largest table in the place for the hashers. Awesome. I could very well let 2 people sit at this ginormous table, so I stopped for a beverage and made it three at a table that holds 16.
The pack continued on without Lazy. Made it across Kingshighway without any fatalities and stayed on trail to the first of many chick checks. GSpot got her workout today being the only chick runner. The pack took a breather while GSpot hunted for trail. When the BH was found GSpot was first in line for some nice Italian Beer with a Mustache on the label. Ah, nice touch hares. The beers were downed and the pack was back on trail for about fifty yards to the BS. Awesome hares. Don't give the pack time to get thirsty. Well done. Beers were slowly being enjoyed, until the day suddenly turned dark once again. Our reprieve from the rain was coming to an abrupt end. The beers started to go down quickly and the hares and the pack were making a beeline back to circle. A pit stop was made at O'Connell's; Lazy was picked up and a short run back to circle.    Once again the rain came to an end for circle. Wait a minutes. Lazy comes outside the rain stops. Lazy goes inside the rain starts. Coincidence or not?    I leave that for you to ponder.
Keg was lowered out of the Lazy mobile and circle was formed. Gladdy had shacken off the cobwebs from early. Called in all the hashers who brought a Mustache. Lazy and GSpot stole theirs from Gladdy/GSpot wedding. Gladdy shave his beard and was sporting a real one. Dewey and Mustache Rides were each sporting a ginormous fake mustache that when worn interfered with drinking. Forgot the hole for the beer.
Significant runs were called; 5 bucks made it to 69 and Mustache Rides got his 25; they were blessed by Dewey and GSpot and Whiney hit 450 which was blessed by Just Iryna.
Just Steve the virgin was called in for his joke, song and hopefully not a hidden body part. Well he tried the tomato joke, but upon mentioning tomato, at least three people yelled  out the punch line "catchup". He was denied virgin fulfillment with that joke, so was requested to do one of the three tasks again. The circle was enlightened with the showing of his chest. Boos were heard from the hasherettes.
HashShit nominations went out - the hares for prelaying trail in a Tornado/thunderstorm monsoon, Mustache Rides for something else, 5 bucks for blah, blah, blah. And the winner is Mustache Rides, but one hare drinks all hares drink. Dewey and Mustache Rides were hashshit winners.
Swing low was sung and circle was out, but no not with Gladdy realizing we still had beer in the keg. A few more rounds of calling hashers into the circle and then off to O'Connell's. Gay Blade dropped in after a hard day of working to join us in a few more rounds of lager.

Dewey used her new powers to name virgin Just Steve at the bar. He will now forever more be known in the hashing world as Lady Hair. I can't remember the story, so someone will need to post it in the blog.

Time to wrap this hash trash up and have a beer.
Lazy Ass


Start: Parking lot of the MO Botanical Garden Library, 4500 Shaw Ave., St. Louis, MO, 63110

What should you expect: Get your mustaches out for a fun run through The Hill. If you haven't been growing one, you better find a way to get one by Saturday. Ladies, no waxing or bleaching needed for this trail. Bring a vessel for beer.

ID on Trail: Always

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Directions: Off Vandeventer from 44 make a right onto Shaw, it will be on your right.

On-After: O'Connell's Pub, right across the street

If you get lost call Dewey at 618-795-5305

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999