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Saturday 02/27/2010 #845

Ho Hum & Seize Her Salad @ Big-Hump Goes to Hollywood: The Bet Payoff Hash

Hash Trash:

Feb 27 2010


It was a cold and sunny day in February.  The sort of day where you car gets deceptively warm with no heat going so you decided that shorts are ok to hash in.  It was not that warm.  Hit by a car and I, Shot by a whore, are rolling to the hash after looking up the directions 4 times during the week going it is five min away and then as I follow them get the impending feeling that again I have made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.  Scrooge McFuck sends me a text that they are right across from a giant windmill and lo and behold I am at that stop light.  I immediately become excited because I spy two playboy bunny outfits in the crowd.  Due to this hasher opinion of the beauty that is a plenty in this kennel.  As I get closer one of the bunnies is quite a bit furrier than I prefer, I realize this is Meta, dressed in a black nightie with white fur trim and a set of bunny ears.  Luckily Ceasar was in the same out fit as I was able to wash my eyes with her beaming "smile." 


I knew from the look at the hares that this was going to be either a grueling trail or a short one based on which rout you choose.  Ho Hum being so flight of foot any head start and I was done.  When the rumor of a dead trail and a walkers version I breather a sigh of relief.  We were graced by two virgins, Just Michah and Just Jessica, and a visitor, Dare I Lick, all the way from Hawaii. One can only wonder how he got that name.


The second circle started Whiny Bitch started whining about some thing.  I just drank till he stopped.  The hares went through chalk talk and got the pack excited for a shot stop on trail.  Two if you walked. I think I had four shots.  And the pack was off.  A few paces till Just Gary and I decided to be the DFL's on the walker trail, all the harriets chose that path and it seemed the most prudent choice. 


Upon arriving at the shot stop, the gracious home of Ceasar Salad, which I've been told has a hash crash room.  The Jose was flying.  I know tequilla makes the close fall off but upon minutes of ingestion I heard two great quotes, which thanks to Jose I can't directly quote but I can give you the basic jest. Just Madeline, complimented Ceasar on her two lips. closely followed by All in the Pink or Two in the Pink saying all she wanted to do was smell it.  And we were off on trail again.


After some brutal rail road tracks we arrived at the beer stop.  The Bleeding Decon, a lively establishment of the highest degree and Ceasar ordered two rounds for us all and there was much rejoicing.  A table of Norms watched us gather and turned their interest turns out it was Jailbates and Shits Bricks family and friends.  I tried to recruit his wife and then they left.  Hit by a Car was asked to leave as well.  We formally met the Virgins and they tried their darnedest to entertain us.  Just Jessica going first and after many attempts at convincing the lovely lass to show those favorite hidden body parts she told the story of the fish with no i's.  Just Micha not to be undone tried to show his One eyed trouser snake but in deed gave every on a full Moon. (Tumbling Dice This Friday) And again off on trail we went. Another side note I have is I overheard Meta propositioning people for money in exchange for favors.  Don't worry buddy hopefully the job market will pick up. I need it too to.


the second half seemed really familiar to me but while on it I learned that Pees like a Princess has never had sex with an ex. But on the first half he did find Nut on trail.  And again I find myself at the shot stop.  Same result as the first time only with twice as many hashers and now Meta has brought out some pomegranate vodka.  I had another two shot of Jose with Just Madeline and Two in the Pink.  There was a rumbling up stairs and Ceasar Salad was removing Just Jessica's pants with her teeth.  What does that tell you about Jose. 


There was Pizza ordered and we had to get back to circle to get it.  Lucky for us SnatchSquatch was waiting and picked up the tab. 


The Circle was lively and much rejoicing went on the hash shit nominees were the hares, Meta, Two in the Pink, Just Madaline, Cliff Band Her, Just Gary, Pees like a Princess for assorted crimes that I do not recall except for the winner of Cliff for his ability to pick up high school track girls.


Swing low was sung and the pack headed to Ceasar's for pizza, Alas I had the Mizzou game to scurry off to so I know no more.


Shot By A Whore


Hit By A Car



Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999