Have you ever sat around and
wondered ... "Hmmm...after all these years of hashing, what has Cliff
Bangher learned and gained?" Well, I have, and if you attended the
Whiney/Dribbles/Stinky hash last night, you & I found out! After
years and years of practicing diligently, Cliffy can now do a 100% dead-on
impression of Whiney B$%ch's whiney description of "what did you
think of trail?" Every hasher was amazed when they looked over and
it was Cliffy complaining about trail, not WHINEY.
It was truly one of the most fun,
shiggiest, barbed-wire-est, smokiest, twiggiest, happiest hashes ever. We
started at the Stratford Inn parking lot, with many more hashers braving these
below zero temps than I ever thought possible. Apparently ALPO arrived an
hour late, decided his brown leather shoes and black sweatpants were too pretty
to hash in, so proceeded to get liquored up at the SI.
Whiney gave at least a 22-minute
long hash chalk, then reiterated it all for the virgins, Dribbles got drowned
in some flour, and Stinky was excited to celebrate his birthday with some hot
hares, virgins, and backsliders. They were off, and Rudy sang lots of
songs and ran around in his so-dark-I-thought-he-was-black bare legs in
circle. Oh yeah, there was a lot of talk about hand warmers and feet
warmers and junk warmers and stuff...cuz it was cold.
Off we went, passed about 69
chick checks (noone flashed that I saw, even though there were some damn fine
chicks there last night), ran (stumbled) up mountains, hills,
valleys, canyons, River Chase parking lots, industrial parks, woods,
check-backs, oceans, then we got to a HH (I think the explanation was that
Dribbles set trail the wrong way, Whiney got pissed and started beating her, so
they set a HH to not confuse the virgins). I think there was a Turkey
eagle, and maybe Just Chuck, this girl, and Cliffy were FRB to the beer
stop...which was a huge 17 foot arching flaming bonfire!!!!!!! Noone
brought weiners, which was really the only reason I came to the hash.
However, speaking of weiners, Dribbles had a close encounter with death when
this big piece of wood liked her eyes and decided to skull-f%&k
them!! She liked it for a while but then requested to get it removed
by....I don't know her name. I think she was a doctor or a nurse or
a stripper. Just Chuck, whiney, and bunch of people drank a lot of red
wine at the beer stop.
So then we went through more
woods, rocks, creeks, scarce TP marks, black ice/slip n slides to finally the
stratford inn parking lot and a very annihilated Rudy!! He remembered
every song and dance EXCEPT FRB's. Maybe next time. We saw some
guy's weiner, and Bozo & Dewey taught us the fine art of BLOW JOB
EYES. Make sure you get a demonstration next time you see those
ladies. Great to see some familiar faces!!!! Halley's comet, GB, PF,
2FC....Love it! Somebody got 100 runs...who was it...?
Amazing night..then they all went
to see the Stratford Inn strippers. Shitty trail hares!!!!
Stinky
will co-hare his B-Day Hash with Whiney and Dribbles. Expect the WORST with
multiple Turkey/Eagle Splits in the Woods and Creeks.
So
we'll have drinks to warm your tummy. Bring Extra Shoes And Socks!
Meet: Stratford Inn
Erections
From the Nort;
Take
I-270 S toward
Take
exit 5B to merge onto I-44 W/US-50 W toward US-50 W/Tulsa: 1.8 miles
Take
exit 274A toward
Merge
onto N Hwy Dr: 0.6 miles
Turn
left at
Take the 1st left onto S Hwy Dr: 0.7
miles
Stratford
Inn
will be on the right
From
the Slouth;
Take
I-255 W/US-50 W or I-270 N toward
Take
exit 5B to merge onto I-44 W/US-50 W toward
Take
exit 274A toward
Merge
onto N Hwy Dr: 0.6 miles
Turn
left at
Take the 1st left onto S Hwy Dr: 0.7
miles
Stratford
Inn
will be on the right
From
the Yeasty Dark Side;
Take I-64 W to
Take exit 40C to merge onto I-44
W/I-55 S
Continue to follow I-44 W: 16.8 miles
Take
exit 274A toward
Merge
onto N Hwy Dr: 0.6 miles
Turn
left at
Take the 1st left onto S Hwy Dr: 0.7
miles
Stratford Inn will be on the right
From
the
Take
I-44 E/US-50 E toward
Take
exit 274B toward
Merge
onto S Hwy Dr: 0.4 miles
Stratford
Inn
will be on the right