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Wednesday 12/09/2009 #827

Locknut Monster @ ???

Hash Trash:

The only reason I even offered to write this was because I was trying to make circle go faster. Seriously. It was that cold. The few hashers that were brave enough to brave the weather circled up at Shaw Park in Clayton. We blessed the hare, LockNut Monster, and he was away, leaving us freezing for 15 minutes while he set the most complicated trail in history. The pack was barely out of the lot when we hit the first check. Once trail was found we wound up climbing a ladder, walking over a tarp, jumping over a 3 foot wide death trap and stuck inside the courtyard of a school. We eventually got out of the park and into Clayton, where we ran up and down the steps of a parking garage, got in the elevator, got out of the elevator since Gay Blade pushed all the buttons, only to realize we have no idea where trail went, but that we were near where we started. We did find a tennis ball and fading dots, which led some of us to think maybe the hare ran out of flour. We decided to head back to the start, not even hitting a beer stop, when all of a sudden trail reappeared under the interstate. A few drywall marks later we come to a beer halt. The pack probably preferred a BS, but hey, it's beer, we'll drink it. During which, a confused PTA and Back Door Dwarf informed us that we must have missed some of trail, because they just got done climbing over a wall. After the beer halt, we again found trail off of a chick check, with the only marks being true trail arrows which lead to...da duh duh! Another parking garage! More steps! But then, finally, the Beer Stop. We also found CliffBangHer and Disco Ass, having not seen them since the first parking garage. LockNut explained that he did run out of flour, and actually ran to his car to get more. Then it took 5 minutes to get back to the start. Awesome.

We only had time for a 20 minute circle, seeing as none of the guys had balls anymore due to the cold. Lizzardo and Burning Asshole were called in for skipping trail, Ho Hum for showing up late, Hammertongue, Pornogenic and Mother Theresa for backsliding, Fuck Me Rudolph for allowing such shitty weather and of course, our esteemed hare. Whiney Bitch and Diggity Diggity and nothing but good things to say about trail, Stink Palm and Disco were wearing shorts (as was Dewey Sexual System, until she took them off), but ultimately it was Hammertongue's strange habit of only cold-weather hashing that earned him hashshit. We swang low and then got lost going to the on-after. Speaking of lost, what happened to Headcheese?





Start: Enter Shaw Park at Brentwood and Shaw, look for hashers in the parking lot by the softball fields.

What should you bring: Flashlight, gloves, hat, tights, a parka, wool socks and extra shoes.

What should you expect: Meet the real Hashers this Wednesday- cause the BEER IS JUST THAT MUCH
COLDER! OK- here it is- let's see who isn't a fare weather Hasher- I remember the days- when only a few of us would come out on nights when it was going to be this cold- WHAT A BLAST!

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Directions: Hey! Highway 40 is open! You can take it to Brentwood then make a left on Shaw, make sure to keep to the right. Enter the park and keep going until you get to the end by the softball field. Look for hashers. You can also take 170 to Forest Park Parkway, make a left on Brentwood and then follow the same directions.

On-After: J McGraugh's, 8405 Maryland Ave., Clayton, MO

Locknut doesn't have a cell, so if you get lost call someone who cares, or at least will be there.

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999