It bothers me a little that no one writes hash trash anymore. Itís a time honored tradition at the Big Hump, or at least during my time with the Big Hump. Even though I wasnít appointed the scribe, I will try to recreate the events the best I can recollect.
This was Shot By A Whore (aka Tom Arnold), Just Gary and Just Kellyís virgin lay (yes, I said lay) with the Big Hump. Iím sure Shot has laid other trails, but I would have never known it based on this clusterfuck of a trail.
After everyone rooted through the cooler and bitched about the quality of the beer, we circled up. Postage chastised the usual suspects for being FRBs and the recipient of hash shit. Though I donít remember who it was, I suspect it was probably Hymen HunterÖ.oh wait, thatís later on when he gets hash shitÖ.againÖ.for being so damn good looking.
We were regaled by chalk talk from Tom Arnold and then the hares were away. I took the walkerís trail and apparently the runnerís did too. We wound around two or three buildings, a pond full of attacking geese and then back to the road. It was about three blocks later, maybe a half mile; we were at the beer stop. And when I say we, everyone was there. Apparently, the trail had gone awry at some point.
Adult beverages were consumed for a lengthy period of time and back on trail we went. I assumed, as most hashers would, that the trail would lead straight back to start. I assumed incorrectly but that didnít matter since I walked back from whence I came. However, the runners were in for a surprise since they were gone for a real long time.
Back at the start, the coolers were opened and more libations were consumed. As a special treat, Just Kelly had baked a mound of foot-shaped cookies that said ďNo NoĒ on them. Definitely some of the best cookies I have ever had*, but I donít get the ďNo NoĒ thing.
*see recipe below
While a select few munched on cookies, the runners showed up after their post-beer stop 6 mile jaunt through Westport. I think DMB showed up last, which is not surprising since she hasnít been hashing in a long time and probably forgot how.
We circled up. Some significant backsliders were recognized, Head Cheese for his annual (anal) appearance, and Dick Smoker for his semi-annual appearance. Just Nancy was named Inspect Her Grab TitóI donít remember the particulars of the story. Battleshitís menagerie of virgins were called in and we were sufficiently unentertained by bad jokes. Hymen Hunter won hash shit (yet, again) for being a good looking hasher. Whiney bitched about the trail, as usual, and then we swung low.
Iím lucky to remember that much since itís been over a week.