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Wednesday 09/23/2009 #811

Poostage Tramp & Fartfignugen @ Crestwood

Hash Trash:

What an eventful night! There was so much sausage present that it was comparable to running naked, backwards, through a cornfield.
It started off with everyone enjoying a cold, frosty beer. Then we all turned to water. Why? Because we were scared? Why were we scared? Because we just found out the old plan of paying 5 bucks for beer was draining the Hashconomy. Soooo, under Obamas new plan, starting in October, we will be required to pay 7 bucks to hash and we now have a retirement plan and free health benefits. Ok, the second part wasnt true but moving on.
Our trail started off by running into a mall parking garage that was more desolate than Betty White's vagina, in which Whiney Bitch apparently camped out in for who knows how long. We ran down an exit ramp which was so curly, that i felt like a 3 in the morning white castle trying to pass through one's large intestine.
We made it out, only to find ourselves in an episode of Survivor climbing down ladders and ropes,and climbing UP ropes and fences. Finally, fiiiiinally we saw a sign, a light, what could it be? What was the message? "Jesus wants you to excercise". It was on the sign in front of the church. That wasn't exactly what it said but i think i was close?? I think? After a few grueling hills, a beer stop in the place where people are dieing to get into, and the hares nearly becoming Plaxico Burris's friend, we made it back for circle.
Circle was fun. Somehow, the cereal from last weeks hash must have been considered lost property because it made its way out again tonight. It literally went around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, until Paul Blart (Mall Cop/ AKA Just Maurice) put it down on the ground. Thank God!! He somehow became a virgin by the way. Oh, and he got in his car and sped off once he heard the words, "White Powder, White Powder, White Powder". I think there might have been a little misunderstanding there.
And finally, CONGRATS to the members of the new 400 Club. With the Hashconomy dwindling the way it is, we are still proud to pay for your Hashersecurity that the rest of us will never see by the time we hit that milestone. Im out.



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