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Saturday 08/22/2009 #805

Whiney Bitch & Witty Titty Carrot Committee @ Westport-ish

Hash Trash:

Big Hump HHH trash for #805

The Vegetable Hash

 

So we gathered up in West County behind Banana Pepper's (AKA Whiney Bitch) place of employ.  Banana Pepper said he hoped there were no security cameras behind the building and told us all not to mess up any of the company trucks.  Ummm, OK…..how exactly would we "mess up a truck" by standing near it drinking beer?

 

Oh well.  The hares Banana Pepper and Witty Bitty Kitty Itty Shitty Mitty Carrot Committee brought arts and crafts for the vegetable hash.  A cooler full of water had floating peppers in it….Banana Pepper swore he had washed it out first…uh huh.  Anyhooo, the idea was, you had to bob for peppers, ya know, stick your face in and grab a pepper using only your mouth.  Then the pepper was strung on a string of yarn and you wore it like a necklace.   Weird.  But funny…Mother Theresa I thought was the best at it, using a suave tongue swirl in the water to position the pepper just right.  I sported some wood watching it.

 

Yeah, so after a typically confusing chalk talk involving 3 turkey / eagle splits, we questioned the teenaged sister of Witty, Just Rachel, after the hares were away.  She told us about losing her virginity last month and about being called a whore by a Kirkwood soccer mom when she was only 14.  Then she showed her boobs.  I felt like a dirty old man…which….of course….I am.  But the story that got the name juice flowing was her big sis Witty giving her vibe as a gift.  I saw a porn with that as the story line once.  So we named her Hand Me Down Whore. ...wait, was that it?  Oh crap, now I can't remember exactly.  Somebody correct it if it's wrong.

 

On out we were, into a creek, and out of the creek and back into it, making loops through office building parking lots, check back 11 by a community pool of some kind with cat calls by old ladies, down a power line hill, and finally a beer stop in a suburban nightmare of apartment buildings.

 

Norman Bates and Buttsucker got lost on trail…but you already knew that.

 

Then a long circle with veggie trays and cheesy poofs…what a combination!!  Then we decided to name Just John…you know him, the guy who always tries to "win" the hash.  He was chock full of bizaare stories…the best one being a time when he got on a bus from the Girls Gone Wild video series and humped one of their pillows.  ???? I dunno, I wasn't really listening any more at that point.  We named him Pillow Fucker.  Hehehehe.

 

Hymen Hunter won hash shit because he's apparently one hot mo-fo….so sayeth Shot By a Whore.  Not sure if Shot's girlfriend Sponge Bath Shaved Pants agrees, but that's really none of my business.  Whatever floats your boat dude.

 

Finally no Po Po showed up and it felt good to change clothes, dry off and not have wet balls.  We craniumed to Malones for bad burgers, good fried chicken and more beer.  All in all it was a shitty veggie trail.

 

Disrespectfully Submitted,

Ricky’s Crab Shack

IWOOAIW20YAIJWPTO

.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Directions:

(And Celery (in spirit))


Details: (fully plagiarized from Jail Bait)
Bring your shiggy socks and water wings. This Saturday's hash is sure to be a "shigtastic" stomp (and swim) through lovely Maryland Heights. For those walking wankers and lazy wheelers; no need to worry, there will be turkey/eagle splits and Walkers/Wheels Trails.

Come one come all hashing vegetables to the VEGETABLE HASH that was concocted in a drunken stupor at another BH4 hash by Celery and Witty. Whiney will be temporarily re-named "Banana Pepper" for the evening. We will celebrate the vegetable names by wearing and eating only the finest home grown vegetables along with some stand in store bought ones. Dress up as your favorite vegetable or just wear its color. We will have VEGGIE GAMES along with a PHOTO HUNT that will have a great prize of very special libations. So bring your water proof camera or phone. Below are some of the photo hunt items, so print this off:

Barbless wire fence
Spewing fountain (in lake)
Box culvert (He said "box")
Buried lawnmower (the lawn won!)
Giant bowling pin (with balls)
Gigantic 6 (really)
Gigantic rubber black fin (huh)
A shocking place (ouch!)
Vegetables (on trail of course)
Very large owl (hmm...)
Anything else very strange for bonus and tiebreakers


Start Address:
11660 Lilburn Park Road
St. Louis, MO 63146

Directions:

From Hwy I-270 and Page Avenue (Hwy 364): Cranium east on Page Ave. until you reach the Schuetz Road (second road) and Turn Right. Go south, across Lackland Rd. and turn left on Lilburn Park Road (Office Buildings). Go to the end of the cul-de-sac, turn left into the parking lot. Look for hashers in the parking lot behind the building.

Map Link:


View Larger Map


On-After: (NE corner of Page Ave at Schuetz Rd.)
Malone's Grill and Pub
11660 Administration Dr
St Louis, MO 63146-3534


Call Whiney if you get lost: 314-662-4353

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999