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Wednesday 06/24/2009 #792

GladHeAteHer & Hymen Hunter @ ???

Hash Trash:

My version of the hash:
Global warming! What? What in the hell does it have to do with anything? It’s the middle of the summer in the LOU. Where else would people expect this kind of heat! Hashers gathered in the middle of the gay parade in South town St. Louis to enjoy another steam bath. Beers were drunk. Virgins were called in the circle. Hares explained crap to virgins then drew some $hit on the ground. More beers were drunk. RA was drunk. Pictures were then taken. Hares were away.
Sweaty hashers carried on the ritual of chasing after the hares for beers. We pounded pavement and crossed streets recklessly. Sexorcist thought it was a freaking bike ride in the park! What could be better than bunch of sloppy sweaty hashers pounding the street of South town! More gay pride parade, maybe!
Beer Halt was located on trail behind stinky dumpsters. Fresh brew of Dutch hops was consumed by hashers who discovered the treasure next to the freaking dumpsters. More beers were drunk. Hashers were away.
Hashers received a great tour of the beautiful SLU campus - the home of the Bilikens. It was a maze. It resembled a game of Ms. Pacman. Beer Stop then was spotted in the freaking V.A. parking lot. “V.A. Parking Only” sign was obviously visible to the naked eyes.
More beers were drunk at the Beer Stop. Hula Hoop skills were displayed by hashers. Fisty shook the Hula Hoop like it’s hot. Rudy played Hula Hoop ring toss on human/hashers. Billboards were redesigned and reconfigured. Thanks to great effort of talented hashers. We need to get corporate sponsorships from those companies for our great work. Hares were away. Hashers followed.
Quick thinking Postage saved the life of my virgin as she recklessly crossed Grand Boulevard while being mesmerized by the lights of The Fox Theatre. “Cars!”
Hashers approach the site of Humphrey’s with my bladder full of toxic substances. We brought the sweat to the great Humphrey’s. Sweaty Hashers! More beers were drunk.
There was nothing better than following the true trail then to discover that the true trail led to a 20 foot drop in the darkness of night. Good thing G-Spot was able to figure out that we did not have to jump off the cliff. That would hurt. We crossed terrains to come back to the circle. Nice trail, Hares!
Hashers celebrated Whiney 400th hash. Well, it was just Whiney who actually brought alcohol to the hash so he could celebrate his 400th. We all would not give a crap. DMB once again received the prestigious Hash $hit and continued her domination of this title for being engaged, again. Congratulations DMB – for being engaged of course! Also, congratulations to Whiney as well for surviving 400 hashes with only one broken foot incident that I could remember.
Novak’s was the designated spot for on-after. I couldn’t make to Novak’s because I had to take my virgin back and it was a school night. I could imagine there were karaoke, dancing, and lots of staring from the regulars.

On-on.

You Had Me at Herro!

.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Directions:

[Hey DMB, can you please add Hymen Hunter to my June 24th Hare date? Our theme is going to be the The Scorpions 1976 release Virgin Killer. I haven't thought of how the theme of a Scorpions album can be translated into a hash yet, but I'm sure we will. Actually on second thought, scrap that. We might not get any virgins to come if we advertise that we are going to sacrifice them. On-On.]


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Come celebrate Hymen Hunter's Virgin Hare, as well as his One Year Analversary. In celebration of Hymen learning to hare with me (mistake), we will be giving away a prize for the hasher who brings the most virgins (hint, it may or may not be a Scorpions record). We will have plenty of water stops and beer stops for the hashers because of the heat. Hymen Hunter will also be giving personal massages to all virgins at beer stops and circle. And if that's not enough to entice you to hash in the ridiculous fucking heat, Whiney Bitch will be celebrating his 400th hash with shots and a sweaty hairy chest! What more could you want from one of the longest daylight hashes of the year? On-On!

Whistles - YES

Shiggy? - dunno

Dog/Wheel/Walker friendly? -Walker map will be provided. dunno

Start Address:
Commerce Bank
4019 Chouteau Ave
St Louis, MO 63110

MAP LINK:


View Larger Map

Directions:

From I-44: Take I-44 North/East to Vandeventer Exit 287B. Take a Left on Vandeventer. Take a Left on Manchester. Look for Hashers in the Commerce Bank Parking lot on your right.

From NORTH (I-270 to I-170): Take I-170 South to Forest Park. Take Forest Park all the way in to Vandeventer. Take a Right on Vandeventer and follow it South to Chouteau/Manchester. Take a Right on Manchester and your first Right into Commerce Bank parking lot. Look for Hashers.

From SOUTH (I-55): Take I-55 N toward St Louis. Take exit 207B on the left to merge onto I-44 W. Take exit 287B-A for Vandeventer Ave toward Kingshighway. Turn right at S Vandeventer Ave. Sharp left at Chouteau Ave/MO-100. Turn into Commerce Bank and look for hashers.

From Downtown: Take Broadway South until you come to Chouteau. Take a Right on Chouteau and follow it West. Once you pass Vandeventer, take your first Right into Commerce Bank parking lot. Look for Hashers.

From IL (JB Bridge): Take I-255 W/US-50 W . Take exit 1B to merge onto I-55 N toward St Louis. Take exit 207B on the left to merge onto I-44 W. Take exit 287B-A for Vandeventer Ave toward Kingshighway. Turn right at S Vandeventer Ave. Sharp left at Chouteau Ave/MO-100. Turn into Commerce Bank and look for hashers.

From IL (Poplar St. Bridge): Cross the Mississippi and stay on I-64/40. Take the Forrest Park Exit to Vandeventer. Take a Left on Vandeventer to Chouteau/Manchester. Take a Right on Manchester and your first Right into Commerce Bank parking lot. Look for Hashers.


On After Location:
Choose your own adventure? Novaks - Food until 1:00am. For thirsty hashers not interested in food: Laclede Street Bar has $5.00 Cover - 25 cent pitchers, or Humphrey's has penny pitchers starting at 11:00pm.

In case you get lost or need further directions you may contact GladHeAteHer at (618) 406-7684. Or Hymen Hunter @ (314) 249-3636

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999