The pack gathered in beautiful Fenton. The hare promised a long, wet trail…just like we like ‘em.
Everything seemed to be an average Wednesday hash. Hymen Hunter was there to hit on the virgins, Garage was ready to perform her new hash duties, Mudpacker came to drink, Ho Hum showed up to run a long trail, and the the Farts were there to get out of the house. We groped up and were off. This is when it got weird…
I only have knowledge of the walkers trail (thanks Fart), and not much of that! We intended to walk to the old Wet Willy’s lot. It was a great place for a beer stop. Pornogenic, Mudpacker, Fartfignugen, Just Anne, and I happened upon a few truckers drinking beer behind the Drury Inn. They were just too entertaining to leave. They had their hotel trash cans filled with ice and cold Natty Light. The were a generous bunch. My virgin, Anne, instantly named 3 of them. We would call them Ballsack, 2 Balls, and Uniball for the remainder of the evening. Man, she catches on quickly! Pornogenic named their homeless buddy Tool Cleaner. We rode the 4 wheeler of death (only 3 inflated wheels). drank their beer, ate their popcorn, and talked trucker jargon. Mudpacker, did you buy more beer or was I drunk?
We were East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’ a’we gonna do what they say can’t be done. We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there. I’m east bound, just watch ‘ol “Bozo” run… Oh, she joined us when the Maritz rent-a-cop chased the pack away…
Back at circle, the pack re-gathered. My virgin forgot her joke and flashed, but she ran out of circle and flashed the shiggy. She was quickly reminded - you flash tits OR bush, not flash your tits TO the bush! Oh, well. A select few of us got a private show! Pornogenic got hashshit for committing a crime on trail. I’m sure that’s why. Most of the funniest lines of will have to go unremembered, at least by me.
Did anyone run the whole trail, either turkey or eagle? J’Gina? Ricky? Celery?
I hear on trail people scattered and lost trail through the Maritz property, were chased by security, and they possibly crossed the Meramec River? They had a beer stop at Wet Willie’s, and circled back. The Stratford Inn served pitchers for 2.00? Stinky, was that true? If anyone else has something more to add – bring it.
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