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Wednesday 04/22/2009 #779

The Cum Family @ (Frozen, Duzzy, Goggles, It Out, Orgy Dumpster)

Hash Trash:


Hooray for Daylight Grope shots again!



On a warm Spring Eve., in a parking lot bound for no where, I met up with the hashers. We were all too drunk to drink …What?

Nevermind. Someday I’ll write trash to “The Gambler”, but not today.

If there were water crossings, I could have written this in Pirate lingo, but as it is I’ll just tell you what I want to recall…

The Cum family came out in full force and delivered.  Cum Goggles, Orgy Cum Dumpster, Duzzy Cum, Frozen Cum Shot, and Cum It Out (pre?) laid a shitty, non-shiggylicious, South City trail.  They apparently needed eye protection for this trail, but we didn’t. We were blessed with many virgins.  We met Just Andrea, Just Katie, Just Ritchie, Just Teresa, and Just Angela. Just Drew was a born-again virgin, as that was his second hash but he’s still claiming virginity.  We circled up and learned of new hash marks and were told to look for the prized turd flubber on trail?  Huh? I don’t think the hares knew either. 

Our first stop was to serenade Smoking Wiener’s parents. A Hash Halt with tunes? Awesome. Little did we know of the wickedness lurking ahead…

We followed trail like good hashers do and what do we see?  Friendly faces with a cooler. Ah, surely this was our first beer stop. But, nooooooooo. We’d been kidnapped, lured with delicious pretzel rods and cold beer. Victimized. Hijacked. Who, you ask, would set up a beer stop 3 blocks before the Cum Shot Stop?  Who else? The Fuck family!! 2 Fuck Canuck was in charge of security so none could escape. I’m happy to report that our captors treated us well.  Fuck Me Rudolph gave out foot massages, while Fuck Me Pumps held us close in her bosom  - or was that just me?  (Note to captors – don’t be afraid of gagging or bondage next time.)  When they were done having their way with the pack we were off to the REAL stop and a Cum Shot was had by all. Yum. It was O.C.D’s secret repice – not a typo - that’s how she pronounced it.

We were off for some urban shiggy, but only if you zenned across the park to the first real beer stop. Crimes on trail were plentiful. Cliffy pulled out early on trail, while Stink Palm and Mudpacker zenned to Pepper’s to split a bucket. 5Bucks, 5Bucks, 5Bucks and Fiddle Her On the Roof became very close this night. They tiptoed through the tulips and were seen (synchronized) running to the second beer stop. Aw. I displayed Help Me-like behavior and had my dog drag me through city streets. We were off to the second beer stop which was a beautiful city parking lot. Fartfignugen carried back 2 brown turd-like blobs for, well, nothing. Back at start, Burning Asshole saw coolers were empty and went for more. We circled up, beer was consumed, and chips were devoured. Circle had just started and 5Bucks, 5Bucks, 5Bucks had to drink out of Just Drew’s new, flaming red tennis shoes for not warning him about our “traditions”. Then, it was over. The PoPo surrounded us and ended our evening early. We hit Pepper’s for on after.

What didn’t happen:

No hash shits were awarded

No debauchery was spoken of

We were not punished with pints of lager

Racists were not recognized for their efforts in River to River

We were not gratified with virgin round mounds of pleasure

No significant runs were acknowledged

We did not swing low             

  

On On to Hobo Hash…

Disrespectfully submitted,

Full Service Ass Station

.

Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net



Directions:




Address to Circle and Pre-lube:
Keeton's Double Play (Corner of Christy and Delor)
4944 Christy Blvd
St Louis, MO 63116
314-351-6000
We'll circle up in the huge parking lot behind Keeton's and the 7 Eleven.

Metro Link Station: Not so much. . . no.

Wheel/Stroller/Dog friendly: Yep

Shiggy or flashlight: No . . . we're going to illuminate the trail and lay down carpet the entire way. Whadda ya think?

Walker trail: Are you kidding? But of course!

Map Link:

View Larger Map

Directions:

From Downtown/Illinois via Downtown:
I-44 West to S. Vandeventer Ave. (Exit 287b-A) Left onto S. Vandeventer Ave.
S. Vandeventer to S. Kingshighway. Turn Left onto S. Kingshighway (Southwest Bank at Corner)
Stay on S. Kingshighway about 2 miles and turn left into the lot. YouÕll see a Big Lots as you turn in.
Nottingham is the cross street. Once in the lot stay to the right and look for Hashers behind Keeton's and 7 Eleven.

OR

I-64/40 West to Kingshighway. Turn left onto S. Kingshighway. Stay on Kingshighway about 2.9 miles and turn left into the lot.
You'll see a Big Lots as you turn in. Nottingham is the cross street. Once in the lot stay to the right and look for Hashers behind Keeton's and 7 Eleven

From the South:
I-55 North to Loughborough Ave. Exit 202C
Left on Loughborough to Gravois Rd. (1.6 mi)
Right on Gravois and get in left lane. Turn left onto S. Kingshighway.
Stay on S. Kingshighway about a mile and turn right into parking lot complex.
Cross street is Nottingham. Once in the lot stay to the right and look for Hashers behind Keeton's and 7 Eleven

From the West/North:
I-64/40 East or I-170 South to S. Brentwood Blvd. (highway 64/40 is closed from I-170 to Kingshighway)
Turn right onto S. Brentwood Blvd. and take it to Manchester Rd.
Left onto Manchester Rd and take it to Southwest Ave. About 1.8 mi. Go right onto Southwest. (If you miss Southwest, Manchester will run in McCausland)
Southwest Ave to McCausland. Go Right onto McCausland.
McCausland to Arsenal. Go Left onto Arsenal.
Stay on Arsenal to Kingshighway for about 2.25 miles, and turn right onto Kingshighway.
Stay on S. Kingshighway about 1.4 miles and turn left into parking lot complex.
Cross street is Nottingham. Once in the lot stay to the right and look for Hashers behind Keeton's and 7 Eleven

From the Southwest:
I-44 East to Laclede/Murdoch (Exit 282). Straight through the two stop lights and turn left onto Murdoch.
Stay on Murdoch and it will bend left at Murdoch Cut-Off. At Landsdowne Ave. make a right.
Take Landsdowne to River Des Peres Rd. Go right on River Des Peres Rd.
Stay on River Des Peres Rd to Gravois and turn left.
Gravois to Kingshighway (about 0.8 miles). Turn left onto Kingshighway.
Stay on S. Kingshighway about a mile and turn right into parking lot complex.
Cross street is Nottingham. Once in the lot stay to the right and look for Hashers behind Keeton's and 7 Eleven


On-After :
Pepper's Bar & Grill
5452 Gravois Ave
St Louis, MO 63116
(314) 352-9909

$1.75 16 oz. Draughts.
Bring a sexy outfit to change into in the telephone booth


If you get lost, need further assistance, or just need help cumming, please contact any of the Cum Family:
Frozen Cum Shot - 314-503-7630
Orgy Cum Dumpster (OCD) - 314-368-3898
Duzzy Cum - 314-503-3064
Cum it Out - 314-803-8893
Cum Goggles

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999