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Wednesday 03/25/2009 #773

Whiney Bitch's Birthday Trail @ Forest Park

Hash Trash:

Okay, so I got goat roped into doing hash trash. And yes, the rumors of my demise are unfounded. I am alive and but alas, have been sidetracked in the game of life.  I was going to detail everything that happened Wednesday night but decided to wing it and go with some mindless limericks instead.  If I offend anyone, get over it.

 

There once was a Hasher named Whiney,

Who hailed from North Caroliney,

He could bitch and bemoan, in any damn tone,

Till gerbils came out of his heiny.

 

Yes it was Whiney’s birthday celebration hash. What an absoloootely fine day for a hash….any day is a good day for a hash. Maybe that was why we came out 55 strong. So many backsliders, so little time to name them all. You all know who you are. Um, we had a circle and the virgins (six strong?) all introduced themselves. DMB showed ‘em all how to do a down-down and Whiney showed us all how pink tennis balls work. (He also showed us his man boobs and how not to wear your running shorts). We groped for a picture, drank more beer and then we were on-out.  Yours truly led the walkers to the beer stop. We had the walking wounded; Duzzy with a bum knee, Postage with bum shoulder and Funny BoneHer with a nice bum ;-)

 

But wait…sniff, sniff, sniff….what is that smell. Who is wearing the ode de semen? “Smells like stale sperm…” 

Is there a plant/tree that smells like male sperm?

Why yes, Copped & Fingered, there is, and I promise, I won’t leave the used condoms on your floor.  http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070621204106AAygAPE

 

Lisa is sexy and hot,

I’d like to do what I should not,

And make her cum, with my finger and thumb,

Just fiddling around with her twat.

 

I’m sure the runners had a great trail what with all the Eagles, Turkeys….Ducks.

Viaduct, vi not a chicken…ah, your all too young for that one. The walkers beat the autohashers to the beer stop….that has to be a first. And pretty much everyone beat the hare to the beer stop….Ricky just beat himself.  

 

Ricky likes beating his meat,

Left handed is a particular treat,

Until one night, when his grip was too tight,

And his dick fell off at his feet.

 

We all ooh’d and aahh’d at the great view from atop art hill, while someone was oooh ahhing in the bushes. Burning Asshole drove off without taking the damn coolers with him so us poor walkers had to roll them back to circle…well okay, Mama’s Ass Porn rolled them back. We walkers made it back to circle in pretty short order.

 

Circle had the usual suspects being guilty of hasher-like behavior, with Fartfignugen doing his best impression of a trash compactor. Hymen Hunter took 20 minutes to chug a beer for his overdue 25 run cranium band (somebody give him a nipple). There were a bunch of significant runs and much transfer of DNA. Gay Blade was awarded Hashshit for offering his opinion on trail, that he’d rather get fucked by a bear than get eaten by a bear.  (There are websites that cater to that sort on inclination). All in all just another shitty trail….speaking of shitty…

 

Rudy said trust me young lass,

I promise I won’t cum in your ass,

But what a disgrace, he came in a place,

Where long, brown turds only pass.

 

 

Disrespectfully submitted,

 

Frozen Cum Shot


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