Wednesday 09/03/2008 #730
Balome Meathead/Flossit With a Faucet/Viper Snatch @ "I Got Sand in My Crack" Welcome Back Meathead Hash!
Hash Trash: In the parking lot of Yac’s the kennel gathered in the drizzle for an epic pavement-pounder set by Flossit with a Faucet and Balomey Meathead. (We missed you Viper and you have our condolences.) The grueling brevity had our Ironmen (Ironpeople?), Cliff BangHer and Pussy Fart, gasping for air, so what chance did the rest of us have? Fortunately, the beer stop loomed in the distance – of 2 blocks – so that we could quench our parched throats. Since it was a “Fat Boy” hash, throats were also coated with the sweet, sweet icing of Krispy Kreme donuts. Lucky donuts they were, being thusly used by Just Tony, Flossit and Pornogenic like hoops at a county fair on their various body parts. The donuts got off easy, though, compared to the gang assault perpetuated on Meathead’s backyard Virgin Mary. The poor girl was violated and knocked over, resulting in the overwhelming naming of Just Tony as Statue-Tony Rape (much to Celery’s chagrin – see below). Maybe it’s Statue-tory Rape. Frozen Cum Shot? Bueller?
Back to circle we dragged our exhausted asses. Nurse HashShit proved her worth as Beermistress extraordinaire by making an emergency run to avoid angering the masses. Pornogenic rewarded her by nearly putting out her eye with her double Round Mounds of Pleasure™ * in celebration of her own double-digit birthday. GladHeAteHer, and Plot My G-Spot, showed up just as he was being cursed for mismanagement of the weather, but he redeemed himself by having a full cooler. Statue-Ton/ry Rape got hashshit for the aforementioned assault on the Sacred Virgin, I believe, and Meathead received hashshit for his love of vacuum cleaners in lieu of a sandy palm and lack of an appropriate bimbo. Someone get that man a Fleshlight before he hurts himself! We swung low and some hashers got a piece at Yac’s.
I Have a Dick
Jackrabbit Slim has a serious challenger in Just Michelle. We need to have a stretch-off! In leotards.
* ™ Ricky’s Crab Shack
Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999