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Wednesday 08/06/2008 #723

Cliff BangHer & Postage Tramp @ South County

Hash Trash:

A break in the heat wave and no rain brought out a large number of Hashers to SoCo.  The hares were fortunate in finding an unused parking lot in a SoCo Industrial Park; oh, the sheer luck of it.  As the hashers filtered in, the sweet nectar of the hash was being enjoyed by all. Hopefully, you enjoyed a lot of it, because oh the disappointment you felt later…

We formed our customary oval. Before the hares were brought in for chalk talk, Sextra was called in so we could admire her new shoes as well as Viper Snatch. Her ankle grew back its cast. Hashers always enjoy checking out a fellow hasher’s new running shoes.  The hares Cliff and Postage (PMS stand-in) provided your chalk talk; flour, chalk, dots, arrows, letters, roman numerals?, TP all made an appearance. Hares were blessed by Gladheateher; a quick grope shot around Lazy, and the hares were off.  Since we had no other tasks at hand but to kill 15 minutes, the sweet nectar continued to flow. If we only would have known, but what hasher thinks beyond the next gulp of fine nectar.  Our 15 minute wait had finally elapsed and we were off to find trail. 

Hmm, from what I recollect, this is pretty much what happen on trail…

Lazy and fellow hasher Frozen shot out of circle up the embankment hot on the trail of the hares. Odds were we were headed to Grant’s trail this night, but how would the hares get us there. Shiggy was promised but so far just grass and the hard flat pavement. Frozen and Lazy were overachieving this night staying well ahead of the pack.  Whiney Bitch and Ho-Lateral were struggling to keep up.  They were not going to get FRB this night. The trail continued around and between the office buildings until finally a street with trail heading to Grant’s Trail.  Frozen and Lazy picked up speed on the hard pavement; unbeknownst to them Shiggy was forthcoming.  Our enjoyment of concrete finally ended with a jump of the curb and down the embankment towards Gravois Creek.  Due to the Monsoon Season this year in St. Louis, the creek was full of water.  Luck was with Lazy and Frozen this night, a naturally formed ramp was awaiting us at the bottom. Frozen jumped on the back of the chair and we flew across the water and up the embankment on the other side to reach Grant’s trail. The pack behind us jumped through the mighty creek to reach dry ground on the other side. With the trail once again on hard asphalt, the wheels were humming along until the chick check. Frozen and Lazy waited for a hasherette to appear. A flash by <Insert any hasherette name here> and we were back to finding true trail.  The TP leading into the bushes could be ignored and a blow job north forced the pack into Clydesdale Park. Looking for Clydesdales led us to a whichy way back on Grant’s trail. Pavement pounding mofos we followed trail to the ballpark fields. At this point of the longest trail eveh we were wondering, if there was a BS. Hares were moving up on my list of people I want to use as a “Speed Bump”.  Once we hit the BN? marking, the hares garnered the first and second spots on my list.

We rolled into the BS finally and grabbed a cold one and all was good.  Hashers slowly trickled in commenting how they “loved the long trail” and wished the hares “warm thoughts”. A few more beverages were enjoyed by all; the hares were on out. Frozen and I picked up speed passing Hummers, DMB, You Had me at Herro, Sextra back to Clydesdale trail. DMB turned on her new cranium light she was wearing around her neck. It sucked providing light on the trail, however, it did put a spotlight on her chest. I believe it was working just fine.

Some opted for the shortcut through Clydesdale Park. Frozen and Lazy wanted to get a couple more miles in and took the long way back to circle.  Umm ya that’s pretty much what happened on trail…


Circle was formed again. we honored those who wore shiggy socks, hash attire, August b-days, and Bungle in the Jungle hashers. By this time if had not grabbed a beverage, too bad.  Our fine nectar had been completely consumed and visiting hashers, significant runs, the virgins and hashshit nominations still remained.  It was a good night for the 10 run hashers. Just Rob, Fist in her furry ass, Lucy and Drop Dead Hummer were honored with the 10 Cranium band. G-Spots Virgin (sister) provided the hash with a knock-knock joke. She being our only female virgin; no “tits out for herro” this night.  The ladies have been due and tonight was there night. The remaining virgins tried a couple of jokes, but soon realized it was useless to get a joke passed this seasoned group of hashers.  Shorts were dropped and hasherettes were happy tonight. 


Hashshit nominations were given; Beermeisters were brought in for making it a sober hash at the end, gladheateher for a singing misshap, a couple other hashers were nominated, and of course DMB.  True; all DMB has to do is show up for a hash to get a nomination, but not this time. DMB was nominated for talking to a person who she thought was Stink-palm for 30 minutes until he introduced himself to her as Just a virgin. The others were dismissed and it came down to a trial by down-down between Gladdy and DMB. Enough beer was found in a few remaining beer cans for the duel. DMB once again won hashshit adding to her record winnings.  A pink elephant was brought out and filled with beer Just Rob keeps warm in his car trunk for emergencies like this. DMB sucked the beer from the elephants trunk and sucked some more. Finally Swing Low was heard and the Hash was out.











From the city - 55 south to Reavis Barracks road. Exit and go left. The next light is Union, turn right. At the light at Grant's Trail turn right on Green Park Rd. After a short distance, turn right on Green Park Industrial Dr. Go up the hill and on the right there are two unoccupied buildings. Park there

From the west - 270 to Tesson Ferry. Take Tesson Ferry north to Lindbergh. Turn right on Lindberth.  Take a left on Union. At the light at Grant's Trail turn LEFT on Green Park Rd (PMS - don't turn on the trail, again!). After a short distance, turn right on Green Park Industrial Dr. Go up the hill and on the right there are two unoccupied buildings. Park there.

From Illinois - 255 to Lindbergh. Lindbergh to right on Union. At the light at Grant's Trail turn right on Green Park Rd. After a short distance, turn LEFT on Green Park Industrial Dr. Go up the hill and on the right there are two unoccupied buildings. Park there.

In case you get lost or need further directions you may contact Cliff at 314-324-1964 or PMS at 314-221-5411.

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999