Chạy của Midget Strap-on-Strap-off and Packers Slut Burning Asshole bắt dầu giữa một ngày mùa hè ở Crestwood, MO. Người chạy tập chung để bắt đầu một đêm say sưa. Mọi người tập chung thànd một vòng tròn để bắt đầu. "Ng ư ời d ững đ ầu đ âu r ồi, Gladheater?" Clifbanger hi sinh dững đầu mọi người tối nay.
FRB bị gọi vô vòng tròn đẻ bị phạt úa bia. DMB gọi lên người để làm nhiệm vụ cho mọi người. You had me @ herro bị chọn để làm người viết thông tinh.
Virgin và khách bị gọi vô vòng tròn để giới thiệu với mọi người. Virgins được chỉ cách độc dấu và cách uống bia.
Đêm chạy bắt đầu. Mọi người chạy theo dấu dưới đất như những người không có óc. Đi theo dấu thì sẽ kiếm được bia! Mọi người chạy qua rừng và suối. Có người bị đổ máu và có người bị ước tại nước suối. Sao một trận khó khăn, mọi người kiếm được đườn ra khỏi rừng.
Sao khi ra khỏi rừng, mọi người kiếm được chổ tập chung để uống bia, xe của Lazy Ass đậu ở gần chổ nghĩ. Mọi người nghĩ mệt ưốn bia và nói chuyện. T ới l úc n ầy, gi ày ai c ũng b ị ư ớc t ại ph ải đi qua su ối. Ai cũng ước là giầy được khô như Châu Phi sa mạc.
On-on! Mọi người bắt đầu chạy v ề lại chỗ tập chung lúc đầu. Một lần nữa, mọi người tập chung thànd một vòng tròn. Một nhóm người bị gọi vô vòng tròn phạt uống bia. Virgin bị gọi vô vòng tròn để giúp vui tro mọi người. "Boobs out for Herro!" là câu gọi chính.HashShit đ ư ợc đ ưa l ên cho b ầu. DMB đ ược dự ứng tại là DMB. Cuối cùng, Locknut được lãnh HashShit tại anh đeo theo vợ cũ.
Midget Strap-on-Strap-off and Packers Slut Burning Asshole's hash began on a cool summer night in Crestwood, MO. The hashers gathered for another night of heavy indulgent of alcohol and sweats. The circle was formed just as the sun began to set and the dusk set in. "Where is the f-ing RA, aka Gladheater?" were lead by RA substitution, Clifbanger, to start our festivities of the night.
FRB's were called in the circle to perform the ritual down-down for being bunch of donkeys leading the pack. Th'was DMB running her mouth, again, nominating random hashers for various responsibilities. You had me @ herro was nominated for hash-scribe. The nomination then was blessed by the members of the circle.
Virgins and guest hashers were summoned into the circle like bunch of wild rabbits being preyed upon. They were circled and surrounded. Virgins were taught how to do proper down-down and trail marks.
Hares away! Hashers, again, dumb-foundedly followed the chalk marks like bunch of trained Pavlov dogs. Follow the chalk marks, thou shall find beers! Hashers ran through the jungle and creeks. Some were soaked by waist high creek water and some left their blood behind fighting through the thick jungle. We all found our way out of the darkness of the jungle after crossing creeks and crawling through tunnels.
Why do people look at hashers as bunch of retards for running on the streets and through neighborhoods? It's called exercise… while drinking heavily.
The beer stop could not have come any sooner. Hashers spotted Lazy Ass's car, again, another auto hash for Lazy Ass, next to the trail lead to a nice quiet gazebo in middle of the park. Beers were flowing. Hashers communicated using sound and body language. Some rested on benches and concrete. We all wished our shoes were dry like African desert but we all knew it was impossible when we had to cross waist high water – unless we could walk on water like Jesus.
On-on! Back to the gathering spot, we went. Circle was then formed as hashers slow getting back to the meeting place. RA substitution, Clifbanger, summoned hashers into the circle to perform down-down. Virgins and guest hashers once again called upon to entertain the circle. Jokes were flying. Boobs were showing. Chanting "Boobs out for Herro!" was becoming the jingle of the circle by the end of the night.
The great title HashShit once again took its place in the circle. Nominations were called out. DMB, again, was nominated for the HashShit just for being DMB. By the end, the winner of the HashShit, by a landslide, was Locknut for bringing his wife to the hash and disguised her as virgin. Hhhhmmmm… a married virgin???!!!
You had me @ herro.
Disclaimer: the accuracy of this report is based solely on the recollection of a mind that was under the influence of multiple substances. Should there any questions or concerns regarding the report, you could FUCK OFF!
Venue: Crestwood – another shitty Burning A$$hole trail
Metro Link Station: Nope.
Wheel/Stroller/Dog friendly: Walker trail is wheel friendly.
Shiggy or flashlight: Urban shiggy and some water so plan accordingly. A flashlight never hurts.
Walker trail: Most likely
Address: Parking lot at the end of Lindenhurst Drive, St. Louis 63126
BelleVegas: Get to I-255 and head south toward Memphis. Continue on I-270 North. Take Exit 3 which is Gravois/MO-30 East. Go about 1.5 miles and turn left at Sappington Road. Continue about 1 mile and turn left onto Hartsdale Drive and make another left of Lindenhurst Drive. Go to the parking lot at the end of Lindenhurst Drive.
E’ville: I-270 to I-255 to I-55 S/I-70 W/US-40 W toward St Louis/Memphis. Take I-55 South (Exit 40C) towards I-44 West. Merge on to I-44 West for 10 miles. Take exit 279, Berry Road. Turn left on to Berry and then right on to Big Bend Blvd. Continue for 1 mile on Big Bend and turns left on to Sappington Road. Stay on Sappington for about 1.5 miles (you’ll cross over Watson). Turn right at Hartsdale Drive and then make a left on to Lindenhurst Drive. Go to the parking lot at the end of Lindenhurst Drive.
Downtown St. Louis: Get to I-44 West. Take exit 279, Berry Road. Turn left on to Berry and then right on to Big Bend Blvd. Continue for 1 mile on Big Bend and turn left on to Sappington Road. Stay on Sappington for about 1.5 miles (you’ll cross over Watson). Turn right at Hartsdale Drive and then make a left on to Lindenhurst Drive. Go to the parking lot at the end of Lindenhurst Drive.
North St. Louis (Florissant): Take I-270 West. Take exit 5A to merge onto I-44 East toward St. Louis. Take exit 278 for Big Bend Road. Hang a right on Big Bend and then turn right on to Sappington Road. Stay on Sappington for about 1.5 miles (you’ll cross over Watson). Turn right at Hartsdale Drive and then make a left on to Lindenhurst Drive. Go to the parking lot at the end of Lindenhurst Drive.
South/West St. Louis (Sunset Hills): You’re practically there if you are in Sunset Hills. Even a half-mind like me can figure it out.
On-After: Malone's 8742 Watson Road, St. Louis, MO 63119
If you get lost or need further assistance, please contact BA @ 314-422-9385.