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Saturday 04/12/2008 #699

GladHeAteHer & Plot My G-Spot @ "THE HOBO HASH"

Hash Trash:

The pack gathered on a brisk Saturday afternoon downtown at Al Hrabosky’s for the Big Hump’s  1st annual Hobo hash, which also happened to be hash 69-9.  There were prizes to be handed out to the first 30 hashers that showed.  We were supposed to be hobo looking (duh), and it was cold out, so yeah, everyone got one.  The knapsacks contained all the necessities a hobo could need.  Peanuts, bologna sandwiches, one shooters of various boozes, and of course a paper sack to drink said booze out of.  Everyone dressed up for the occasion, though some looked a little more pathetic than hoboish.  Not to mention all the technology floating around.  Seriously, how many hobos are walking around with cell phones and show up in their Acura?

The hares gave us a non-traditional chalk talk  In fact, they completely made up their own marks for everything.  Even a little choo-choo train drawing.  After that, the hares were out, and the pack was off as I slammed my beer with a quickness.  Straight to the slums of inner industrial abandoned St. Louis we ran to.  Making our way to the Arch grounds and then down to Laclede’s Landing, where we hit our first beer stop, Sundeckers.  By this time my nuts were frozen to my inner thighs, so I’d like to take a moment to thank the hares for the indoor beerstop.  At Sundeckers, we made friends instantly, sang “Dumb Ass” to newly-weds, and probably annoyed the shit out of a bartender who otherwise thought he was going to have another slow relaxing Saturday afternoon.

On out we went straight to the Metro Link.  Dammit I thought we were going to jump a freight train to Kansas City or something.  We only made it as far as Union Station before jumping off and running some more in the cold ass weather.  By this time I was thinking to myself “it was fun to dress up, but these fu**ing BOOTS I wore really really suck to run in”.  But I digress, back to the pavement pounding downtown hobo hash.  We ran up and down the city blocks until finally hitting the second beer stop (WOO HOO) which was in a park right next to the Soldier’s Memorial.  Yeah, the same parks where the real hobos sleep.  We were there maybe 2 minutes when we were hit up by the real deal.  But man, this hobo hit the jackpot, as our generous pack unloaded their bologna sandwiches and a can of potted meat with a quickness.  I should also mention the porta potty in the same park.  There was a lady and a man in there, and I think they lived there.  I thanked them for letting me use their restroom, made like a tree, and got the hell out of there.

After that a quick jog back to the circle.  Enroute, we picked up what I hope to see soon as The Cone of Silence.  In circle mostly the usual shit was done, songs were sang, and beer was drunk.  People were hit for DFL, FRB, nominations, etc.  The giant ginormous hashshit was handed out.  Man I’ve been gone for a while.  WTF was that ridiculous contraption all about?  And finally, awards were given out for the best hobos.  DMB won the harriette side in her Boots McGee outfit, and yours truly won for the dudes (but only cuz I wore suspenders just like the hare who give out the special prizes).  And what, pray tell, did we win?  1 MILLION DOLLARS!!!!  Or maybe it was a harmonica made out of pure gold.  Or maybe just a plain old harmonica.  But you know what?  You really can’t put a price tag on the hours of musical pleasure that will be enjoyed by all the other hashers in the years to come.

Then on-after to the Broadway Oyster bar… where I didn’t go.  But give me a break, at least I made a damn hash!

ON-ON   Frankie TDTPE


Big Hump H3 - Trail # 699 - “THE HOBO HASH”

When: Saturday, April 12th. Meet at 3:00 pm Pack away at 3:30

Venue: Downtown St. Louis and where ever the rails might take us


Your hobos: Dirty Jeans and Fingerbone Robinson (aka. GladHeAteHer and Plot My G-Spot)


Come ride the rails this Saturday! Special start time of 3:00. Please dress in proper Hobo attire. The first 30 people that cum will receive a special gift courtesy of your hobo hares. Trust me, you'll like it! Also a special prize for the best dressed hobo. We do ask that any attending hobo hashers bring at least $2 and possibly $4 on trail to purchase a metrolink ticket. The hares will not be responsible for any hobos that get lost because they get booted off the Metro by a Bull for not having a ticket.


What is a hobo you might ask? Hobo is a term that refers to a subculture of wandering homeless people, particularly those who make a habit of hopping freight trains. The iconic image of a hobo is that of a downtrodden, shabbily-dressed and perhaps drunken male/female, one that was solidified in American culture during the Great Depression. Hobos are often depicted carrying a bindle and/or a sign asking for money/work/food/beer. Hobos differentiate themselves as travelers who are homeless and willing to do work, whereas a tramp travels but will not work, and a bum does neither.


Is this trail near a metro link station?: Yep. Stadium stop would be the closest. Then go South to Al Hrabosky's.

Is this trail stroller/wheel chair friendly?: There might be a walker's map


Meet at the parking lot near Al Hrabosky's Ballpark Saloon. Either behind it or the big one on the right.





From MO -

Take I-64/40 East to the Last Missouri Exit before th Poplar Street Bridge. Take a Right on Gratiot St. and another right onto 7th St. Take this a short bit North before taking a left onto Cerre St. Look for hashers/hobos in the parking lot behind Al Hrabosky's or in the parking lot on the right.

Take I-70 East until you hit the downtown area. Get off downtown and make your way to Broadway going South. Take a right on Chouteau and another right on 7th St. Take this a bit North before taking a left onto Cerre St. Look for hashers/hobos in the parking lot behind Al Hrabosky's or in the parking lot on the right.

From IL -

Take I-55/64/40 over the Poplar St. Bridge. Get off on the Clark St./9th St./Stadium Exit. Take a right onto Clark and then another right onto 8th St. Take this 2 blocks down to Cerre St. and take a right. Look for hashers/hobos in the parking lot behind Al Hrabosky's or in the parking lot on the right.

On After Location Broadway Oyster Bar -Just South and East of Al Hrabosky's. There might be a cover as bands are playing at 7:00. Get the Shrimp Grinder. It's the best thing they have!


In case you get lost or need further directions you may contact GladHeAteHer @ (618)406-7684 or Plot My G-Spot @ (618) 973-9091.

On On

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999