Oh God, where to begin? So I get to the hash, my first time in like eighteen weeks or something (backass slider that I am), and I greet the evening's four lovely heroines: JackRabbit Slim, Bama Mate, Nurse Hash Shit, and especially Viper Snatch, who turned 25 that evening. I'm promptly offered a beer and the evening gets off to a great start. I make a mild complaint that I did not receive Stag but rather a Bud Select and am quickly admonished by Nurse Hash Shit that I shall, "DRINK IT AND LIKE IT DAMMIT." So I do.
Many familiar faces are seen, most notably Disco A$$ fresh from the far East, Keyless Entry, and Muppet Fucker, who decided to hash even though his first-born was due to arrive in this world at any minute. That's true dedication. SoSo arrived with her posse in tow, Whiney was there bitching about the cold, Legs Over Easy and McGutterslut, PMS and Postage, and many more of our favorites joined in the celebration. Circle begins amid rumors of frostbite danger and the group proceeds to lube up.
I think at this point in the evening Bama is already passed out in her car, and the pack's away! Trail winds through back alleys, abandoned train tracks, stockyards, dog houses, hen houses, and outhouses as we make our way to the heart of The Hill. What we don't know as we're steadily stumbling over the HW 44 bridge is that the beer stop is actually *gasp* on the SOUTH side of the highway. Luckily, we beat the hares to the shot stop and drink all the booze before realizing our error. Jovially jogging back over the bridge, we come to Pop's Blue Ribbon or some weird place like that and drink a bunch of beer provided by our heroines, who are all completely sauced by this time. Bama passed out again on the DJ's laptop and we're off back over the the bridge.
We take shots and eat toasted ravs with delicious marinara stew at Rigazzi's, drink some more beers and head back on-in. It was fun, but one of the only things I remember was that there were three 18 year old dudes drinking beer and eating pizza at one of the table and JRS was hitting on them ... noice.
Circle lasted about 28 minutes because the temperature was 28 degrees out (Postage stressed that I include this reasoning in the trash), which was entirely too long, but what did you expect? Nurse Hash Shit passed out in Bama's car along with Bama, and two of the Fingerhuts repeatedly trip over the cooler. I'm pretty sure Bama got hash shit because she kept on passing out.
On-After we head to O'Connell's, where the wait-staff is more than welcoming to our drunk-asses. At one point I saw Bama passed out on one table and Nurse Hashit passed out on another, PMS scarfing a burger, VS bumping chests with JRS, all while the regulars regard us in awe. 'Twas truly a wonderful night, and we all hope VS remembers it for the next 25 years of her life. "Can you smell what I'm steppin' in!?!?!
Peace and Chicken Grease,
-Cum It Out