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Wednesday 10/31/2007 #662

PMS & Postage Tramp @ Happy Halloween Trail

Hash Trash:

It was a dark, dark night.  A motley band of hashers assembled in the parking lot of Cicero’s for some Halloween trail, tail, and holy ale.  Under ominously cloudy skies and at the command of an udderly adorable Meta Arsehole, we circled to admire one another’s beautiful, clever, creepy, funny, or historically accurate costumes and for some chalk talk delivered by our horned hares PMS and Postage Tramp.  The hares were off, and Just Greg aka Ronald Reagan was led away from the circle by Jackie-O (Fuck Me Pumps) and Marilyn (Dribble Between My Legs) for a quick ménage a trois.  After much debate, bloodshed, and eventually an intense bout of rock-paper-scissors, a name was decided upon, and Just Greg will henceforth and forever more be known in the hashing world as Cum it Out (he wants the world to know). 




The walkers’ trail led through Delmar subdivisions.  What the Fuck’s My Name (Alex from A Clockwork Orange – one of my favorite costumes of the evening) and enchanting insects Any Cock’ll Do and her ladybug friend knocked down neighborhood youths, took their candy, and generously shared the fruits of their labor.  We discovered the beer stop in a park near a pond.  Beers were shotgunned, British girls were welcomed, bushes were peed behind, GladHeAteHer stabbed a tree, and teddy bear Dewey Sexual System appeared--a Halloween Miracle!  The walker’s trail back…hmm…I’ll be honest.  I do not remember the walker’s trail back.  I’m pretty sure, though, that at some point, we encountered a mysterious cloaked stranger at a crossroads, and he demanded to compete against our most talented Fiddler on the Roof (Flava Flav) in a musical battle for our everlasting souls.  One cameo appearance by Ralph Macchio later, and we were delivered to the on-in.  The runners’ trail, I hear, was as gratifying as a night under the mirrored canopy of Ricky’s pleasure dome…just ask either of our exotic kerchiefed visitors from across the pond.


Circle was delightfully long.  Songs were sung, accusations were tossed about, beers were down-downed, and Jackrabbit Slim (the walk of shame) performed drunk yoga.  Long Duck Dong was presented sexy shiggy socks for best costume...mmm…take-out, and I was presented an Abraham Lincoln drinking stick for the most monochromatic costume…truly a great honor.  My parents would be so proud.  GladHeAteHer won hashshit for his accurate portrayal of Maximus Decimus Aurelius and for his creation of the Michael Landon pumpkin.  (Michael Landon fans, please click here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMpvQN9rGjE.  You will not be disappointed.)  With the hashshit awarded and accepted and accusations doled out, one would think the evening would begin to wind down.  But wait.  The destiny of the Michael Landon pumpkin had yet to be fulfilled.  Allow me to explain.  Every pumpkin has a destiny on Halloween:  to be carved and to be smashed.  To the horror of Just Mindy, hashers would learn of this tradition firsthand under the tutelage of Gladdy, the embodiment of the Spirit of Halloween himself, as several of his myrmidons (persons who execute without question or scruple a master's commands) assisted in said pumpkin’s complete destruction.  Destiny fulfilled, we convened to the on-after where there was beer and fraternization and boobs…or so I’m told.  Unfortunately, Blueberry Hill has a strict policy on the amount of polyurethane donned by its patrons—something about a fire hazard—and so I was not allowed in.  Boo.  Several kindhearted hashers accompanied me to Cicero’s where we ate, drank, and made merry, joined also by Jackrabbit Slim, Pees Like a Princess, Nurse Hashshit, and the Presidential Trio.  To sum up:  Cum it Out got kicked out of the bar.  I made friends with a mermaid.  Nurse Hashshit witnessed female bonding in the lady’s room.  Princess knocked the head off the Abraham Lincoln drinking stick and then frantically tried to reattach it using the adhesive power of pizza cheese. 


Best Hash Yet.




Plot My G-Spot



START:  737 Kingsland in University City in the parking lot.

METRO LINK? : Yes, Delmar stop is 0.7 miles away

Stroller friendly: Yes





WEST     Hwy 40/64 and 270:  

Take 40 eastbound to Exit 33D for Skinker/McCausland Ave
Turn left on McCausland which turns into Skinker and go 1.7 miles
Turn left at Delmar Blvd (traffic light) and go 0.5 miles.

Turn right at Kingsland Ave (traffic light) and go ½ a block

Turn right into Cicero’s parking lot, look for scary hashers


EAST     Hwy 40/64 from the Dark side:


Take 40 westbound to Exit 34B for Skinker Blvd/Clayton Rd

Turn right at Skinker Blvd (traffic light) and go 1.5 miles

Turn left at Delmar Blvd (traffic light) and go 0.5 miles.

Turn right at Kingsland Ave (traffic light) and go ½ a block

Turn right into Cicero’s parking lot, look for scary hashers


NORTH    HWY I-I70:  


Take I-170 southbound to Exit 2 for Delmar Blvd

Turn left onto Delmar Blvd and go 2.7 miles

Turn left at Kingsland Ave (traffic light) and go ½ a block

Turn right into parking lot behind Cicero’s, look for scary hashers


SOUTH    HWY 44:


Take 44 eastbound to Exit 282 for Laclede Station Rd/ Murdoch Ave

Turn left onto Laclede Station Rd and go 0.4 miles

Turn right at S Big Bend Blvd (traffic light) and go 4.3 miles

Turn right at Delmar Blvd and go 0.3 miles

Turn left at Kingsland Ave (traffic light) and go ½ a block

Turn right into parking lot behind Cicero’s, look for scary hashers


On after: TBA, maybe Cicero's  6691 Delmar Blvd, St Louis, MO  63130

For more info or if you get lost, call Postage Tramp at 314-761-1784 or PMS at 314-221-5411

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999