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Wednesday 10/24/2007 #660

PMS, I Have a Dick & G-Spot @ ???

Hash Trash:

Let this hash be a lesson to all you up and cumming hares.  The more beer
stops you have, the greater the chance for lost, drunk, and/or naked
hashers!  Every red blooded hasher with a half mind met in a gated parking
lot in the geographical center of St. Louis last night to celebrate world
peace.  And what better way to achieve world peace than by drinking every
import beer known to exist.  Purple Muffin Stuffin, Plot My G-Spot, and I
Have A Dick were set to lead us on our worldly tour of intoxication.   Once
we circled up, they showed our virgins how to follow trail(follow someone
else), what to do in case you got lost(find a bar), and how to properly
check the chick checks(boobs).  The hares were given an hour headstart and
the pack prompty followed with vessels in hand.

The trail was filled all sorts of obstacles and pitfalls.  Most notable
was the sidewalk.  It rose up out of the ground and gave Jack Rabbit Slim
an awful thrashing.  Down, but not out, she picked back up and continued
on.  There were many check backs, chick checks, and blow jobs but it all
ended just around the corner from where we started.  Beer Stop #1.
Without really working up a sweat, everyone delighted in various beers of
the world.  After all the beer was consumed at the stop, hashers dodged
through traffic on Grand and followed the trail to what appeared to be an
unfinished house.  The best part about this unfinished house is that it
had a giant BS in front of it.  Beer Stop #2.  More international delights
were consumed.  This is when I learned that there is only one thing that
hashers like more than a beer stop, and that's another beer stop!  The
hares dodged out and the pack gave chase.  Because I am slow and was
starting to get drunk, I kind of stayed behind a little bit to focus on
beverage consumption.  But I was in good company with Just Jason and
Fartfignugen.  We made our way towards Tower Grove park and saw
flashlights bouncing around in the darkness.  Oh those tricky hares!   They
are going to lead us through the park and then lead us all the way to The
Tin Can.  I just know it!  We picked a good spot on Arsenal to ambush the
hares because who wouldn't want to depants them and dump beer on their
But after a while no one came.  So we said fuck it and headed to Tin Can
anyway.  Beer Stop #3?  Sadly there was no BS in front of the Can.   Sure
as hell didn't stop us from going inside and slamming a couple though.
Once out, we heard the sweet sound of Pussy Fart's voice and learned that
the real Beer Stop #3 was in Tower Grove Park.  And we ran all the way to
the Tin Can for nothing?  To catch up to the pack, we sprinted back and
picked up trail.  We weren't on it very long, because Holy Shit, another
BS!  Beer Stop #4.  This time it was in a bar called Rileys.  The regulars
didn't seem too happy to have us, but they were just pissed that they
weren't as drunk as us.  The walkers strolled in and looked even more
fucked up than we were.  Apparently they had the same idea that we had and
made their own beer stops at a Martini Bar and a Wine Bar.  Nice work
wankers!  After many beers, brief nudity, and yelling at stupid video
bowlers, we stumbled back to the On-In and attempted to have a circle.
But as you can guess, not much of one was had because everyone was
trashed.  After yelling hash hush several times, I decided to just give up
because there was no amount of yelling that could have gotten everyone to
be quiet.  Amazingly, awards were given out.  Here is what I'm pretty sure
happened.  Viper Snatch and Frozen Cum Shot drank for being front running
bastards.  Fiddle Her On The Roof and Pubic Head drank for being dead
fucking last.  Yeah, I know.  They are usually in the front but when you
get a little Murphy's Irish Stout in them, the really slow down.   Hashshit
nominations were as follows.  The Hares for not having enough beer stops.
Do My Butt for eating peanuts off the ground...again!  And Just Lynn for
getting flashed on trail...by a local with a 9mm Glock.  And wouldn't you
know it, Just Lynn barely beat out Do My Butt for eating peanuts off the
ground...again.  Congratulations Just Lynn!  The worst part about the hash
was that our main goal was to drink enough to make world peace a reality,
but the threat of violence is still out there.  Maybe a 5th beer stop was
needed.  May the Hash go in PEACE.  May The Hash be flashed a PIECE.


ps.  The on-after was full of beer, cheese, shots, arcade bowling, jukebox
skipping, and more shots.


We'll have samplings of about 20 different flavors of beer at the beerstops, but not a lot of any one kind.  So bring a drinking vessel on trail to share in the samplings.  If you don't own a hash drinking vessel, we'll have the Big Hump 14 oz mugs available for $2.00 each, see Cliffy or Postage.

By the way, if you don't own a hash dringking vessel, we'll have the Big Hump 14 oz. mugs available for $2.00 each.  See Postage or Cliffy.This will be a "World Peace through Beer" hash.  The Covenant of the UN World Peace thru Beer Hash begins..."In order to promote international cooperation and to achieve international peace and security by the acceptance of beers of all hashing nations, by the prescription of open, just and honorable relations between hashes, by the firm establishment of the understanding of international brewing, and by the maintenance of justice and a scrupulous respect for all hash traditions in the dealings of organized hashes with one another, Agree to the Covenant of the World Peace thru Beer Hash." Simply put, the United Nations World Peace thru Beer hash is an annual celebration of hashing in coordination with United Nations day (24 October). Any hash may join by setting a trail that includes beers from as many nations as can be enjoyed. Our goal is to promote peace and friendship among all the hashes of the world, from every nation, to set aside our differences and celebrate our mutual love of hashing and beer.

We’ll start next to Jay’s International Foods Company on S.Grand.

3172 S. Grand Blvd.  63118 






From Hwy 270 and 44:

Take Hwy 44 East to Grand

Turn right (south) on Grand

There is a gated lot next to Jay’s.  Look for the Hash Flag.


From Illinois:

Take Hwy 70 West to Hwy 55 South

Take exit # 206 C at Arsenal

Turn right on Arsenal

Turn left on S. Grand

There is a gated lot next to Jay’s.  Look for the Hash Flag.


From North County:

Get yourself to Hwy 70.

Go East on Hwy 70 to Hwy 55 South

Take exit # 206 C at Arsenal

Turn right on Arsenal

Turn left on S. Grand

There is a gated lot next to Jay’s.  Look for the Hash Flag.


Near a Metro Stop? - about 2 miles away
Stroller/Wheelchair friendly - Yes, will provide a map.


For more info or if you get lost call I Have a Dick at 314-608-0549 or PMS at 314-221-5411.


On-After:  Blackthorne Pub & Pizza - 3535 Wyoming  St. Louis, 63139


Due to the time required to make one of their awesome pizzas, we're going to preorder some pizzas and just ask everyone that attends the on-after to contribute to the cause.

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999