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Wednesday 08/15/2007 #645

Purple Muffin Stuffin's Birthday Trail @ Fenton

Hash Trash:

Okay, so I just remembered that I volunteered to be the scribe! This was after I wondered what wanker was falling down on the job and had not posted the trash! Alcohol does strange things to my memory!

It was a nice warm 82 degrees and the sound of the ocean waves lapping the beach as.....oh, shit...wait, that was last week while I was on vacay and you all were hashing! Okay, I remember now.

It was like 108 in the shade as the group met and circled up at the Big Lots parking lot in Fenton (French for “way the f@ck out there!”) Cliff did the honors of hash cash, with only a little bit of whining. We hugged, we chatted, some of us even groped. I started my evening by limping into the pack and depantsing the lovely Princess. Couldn't stop at just a tug. There was a reappearance of the MIA Just Mike and we learned that unfortunately we will have a loss of Don't Go Down On Me If You Have Braces for 3 months. We circled up for Big-Hump run #6969 or something like that. The RA duties were performed by Ghandi himself, as our beloved Postage was one of the nights hares. Chalk talk was put on for the virgins present and even some of the hashers paid attention. We were warned to have ID on trail for the beer stop. Hmmmm, maybe an adult outing? Could it be? We all know that PMS has a fondness for boobies and it was her B-Day.

Postage and the nubile PMS (definition: sexually mature; especially : of marriageable condition or age —used of young women —nu·bil·i·ty /n(y)ü-'bil-&t-E/ noun plural -ties ) were blessed, we all groped, had a big orgy and they were off. Postage had to run hard to keep up with PMS. And, for once (okay twice, remember the alley incident!) he was the one lost and she had to help him find his way. Leave it to PMS to be able to find the boobies.

ICHY was returned her lost property glass slippers. She was rewarded a down-down which she did with Cinderella like style. We had several virgins present. I only remember that one was an amazon like specimen that allegedly works for Channel 69 or something. Is that the Food channel in Missouri? And that the other one had tasty boobies. Did I just say that? Yes, I did.

This would be the point that I hopped into the lovely Viper's bat car and was wisked away to the adult entertainment beer stop along with Just Tony, Gei Blade and Just Angela. I heard that trail was like 7.33 miles long and very hard. Yes, long and hard ladies! Night Train was spotted at the beer stop on trail. I know this because I cheated and looked at the pics to piece the night back together. 17 bottles were drank between the group.While at the beer stop enjoying a frosty mug of cold nectar, the FRBs came in all hot and dripping with sweat. Several even hugged us autohashers and shared their sweat with us. I'm sure I smelled like I had ran those 7.33 miles after the sweat bath. Oh my, the sites at the beer stop. Let me tell you about it. There were scantily clad women gyrating on poles and moving in such ways that made me cross myself and then start to drool. Many green backs were spent. Us single moms gotta feed those kids!

The pack was on out for another 7.33 miles or something close to it. They made it back to the parking lot by midnight where we began and the autohashers were there guarding the beer and welcoming them home. Don't Go Down On Me If You Have Braces was awarded her 10 run Gucci head (I said head) scarf. Who it was christened by? I have no f@cking clue. Hey, I just saw Keyless in the pics. Where did her sexy self come from? Oh well. I think DMB was awarded hashshit for being the front running or front bikeriding FRB or something. I think I was nominated but have no clue why. I was chauffeured to the on after and back by some kind sole that didn't want to see me get a DUI. Thanks so much. We went to the on after at some bar and had some drinks and ate some food. This is the truth and only the truth, so help me Dog. Some names may have been changed to protect the reputations of some of the individuals involved.

Yours truly with love,
Nurse Hashshit



Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999