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Wednesday 08/08/2007 #643

McGutterslut & Disco A$$ @ One year hashiversary for the due...

Hash Trash:

Our tiny group gathered once again on a frigid August eve for the St. Louis Hash House Harriers 463rd run, according to our dyslexic RA, Postage Tramp.  I’m sorry, did I say frigid, that’s right, it was colder than a witch’s tit out there.  It couldn’t have been much more than 120, 130 degrees.  Kick My Balls mumbled that it was “Hotter than two rats fuckin’ in a wool sock”.  You’ll have to ask him how he knows exactly how hot that is.  The hares, Disco A$$ and McGutterslut, instructed us to meat them at the Forest Park metrolink station, from which where they would lay their trail.  Cliff Bangher and Postage texted each other before cumming, so that they would make sure they wore their matching gay socks.  Madam Yuk elected to drink beer with us in a dress and heels <insert wolf whistle here> rather than cook dinner for whomever was waiting for her at home.  Frozen Cum Shot, well, he was there dammit, and that’s good enough for me.  And then, at long last, Disco Ass, un-aided by his co-hare, gave chalk-talk to Lazy Ass’ posse full of  Virgins.

Off to lay the trail were the hairs, and off to get another beer was me, half of my previous one evaporated between gulps.  We circled back up and asked a bunch of questions to Just Pubic Head (Just Jeff) and got a lot of answers.  He then proceeded to tell us that he did NOT want to be called PUBIC HEAD, I would just like everyone to remember that for next week.  PUBIC HEAD.  As we went on, we ended up with too many questions and too many answers, so to hell with naming this hasher, and off was the pack, as well as Just not PUBIC HEAD.

Straight to Forest Park we headed, and around the History Museum was our first check, and it was a glorious chick check that Keyless Entry honored so very well.  I’ll never understand why I don’t show up every week.  From there we headed straight towards the Muny.  Talk about turning some heads.  There’s nothing better than a bunch of drunk sweaty people running around blowing whistles and yelling “ONNNNNNNN-ONNNNNNNN” in the midst of society’s elite, all dressed up for the theatre.  Those people are idiots anyway.  Don’t they know you can catch the movie indoors where there’s A/C and Milk Duds?  After negotiating the crowd…. we ran past a softball game, and then right through the golf course, where we interrupted Tiger Woods trying to sink an eagle putt.  SHHHHHHH!!!!  Suck it Tiger Woods!!  Finally, after weeks of running, we emerged from the wilderness in the Central West End.  Across Barnes Jewish Hospital’s campus we ran…. man, where the f*ck is this beer stop?  Since we were on the hospital campus, Do My Butt decided to treat herself to a pleasing enema by walking through a geyser/fountain/bidet.  We ran and ran and ran and ran, and finally there it was, Beer Near!  YAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!  And there was a bar in sight.  I said to myself, “Self, that must be the beer stop.”  But was it?  Nope.  We ran more… past yet another bar… and then a liquor store!  I didn’t realize I signed up for the Disco Ass/McGutterslut torture show.  Jerks.  Then finally, a mile and 4 bars past the beer near, we came upon the beer stop.  It too was a bar, it had an indoors, with air conditioning, etc, and what do we do?  Stay outside on the sidewalk where it had finally cooled off to 115 degrees.

At the beer stop we drank copious amounts of beervereges.  And there we were, drinking and laughing and sweating our balls off, and lo and behold, channel 11 shows up with a camera-man and another guy with some sort of  stick with a fuzzy ball attached to the top of it, who were there to tell us that we were the Papa John’s Team of the Week.  Really?  There must be no other teams of any kind in all of St. Louis, then.  Our grand prize was that we had won 30 free pizzas!  I’m not sure if it was exactly 30, but Whiney Bitch said go ahead and order 30 pizzas, and he’d pick up the difference.  They interviewed Meta Arsehole, one of our few members who could actually conduct an interview that, when aired, didn’t have more bleeps then words.  Unfortunately, they were only able to call him “Meta” in the interview.  Apparently this is going to air Sunday evening at 9:25 pm.  We’re going to have 300 hashers next week.  Hey Cliffbangher, you should add a hit-counter to our web-site and see how many hits we get after this thing airs.  We sang the CNN news crew a song and off we were again, back through Forest Park, only this time running through the trees in total darkness.  Keyless showed us her goodies one more time for another chick check!  She gets my vote for this weeks MVH (Most Valuable Hasher).  After that, to hell with trail, we already ran 18 miles and lost 10 pounds of sweat, so straight back to the circle went the front runners.  As the loafers were wandering in…. my bat phone went off.  “Hello?  What’s that?”  I think I got a booty call!  Later losers, I’m outta here! 

Here’s how circle probably went:  Drink beer sing song how was trail down down down down who are you who made you cum hashers meat the hashers down down down down bama mate makes 18 points of lager down down down down there was a game called twenty toes it’s played all over town down down down down either pees like a princess or do my butt wins the hashshit down down down down announcements announcements aNOUNCEments bungle in the jungle next weekend swing low, may the hash go in peace may the hash get a piece.


Frankie The Dick Thrusting Pussy Eater.



Hares: Dr. McGutterslut and Senor Disquito Ass
Occasion: Celebrating a year of hot McGutterslut/Long Duck Dong action and Disco's send off to his Asian Hash Tour '07-'08
NOTE:  Major back slider, Frozen C. SHOT will be at this hash!!! Come on out and welcome him back!!!!
Metrolink: Forest Park Station - In the parking lot!
Walker/LazyAss: Butt of course
Gather in the parking lot at the Forest Park Metrolink Station. This is located on Forest Park Parkway and Debaliviere Place.
To get there, get to hwy 40. Exit Kingshighway North. (Watch out, serious construction here.) Go a few stop lights and make a left on West Pine. You'll curve around then make an immediate left on Lindell. Follow Lindell about a mile then make a Right on DeBaliviere. Cross Forest Park Parkway then the parking lot is on the left. Look for hashers.

On After: Pat's Bar & Grill - on Oakland.
Beer Stop(s): Meet the Press
Sexual Favors Given: TBA
Incase you get lost, or need further directions, contact Bama Mate @ (618)593-4175.

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999