Dapper Sapper & Purple Muffin Stuffin @ Dapper Sapper's Going Away Trail
Hash Trash: A bunch of horny bastards called hashers invaded the Value city parking lot to commence what would become what some have named the “best Canadian hash in the history of the universe.”
Dapper Sapper & PMS picked a fine location to have 56 beer stops and one great trail. Great turnout of both Big Hump and also a fair share of Sunday hashers—yay!! One would think Disco was there with all the crazy knee-high socks, mostly sported by the posse-minus-dewey, but upon further glance only 1 short-haired Fingerknobber was there. Good to know his memory will live on during his temporary leave of absence.
Just MaryEllen came back for more after the insane Bevo mill-hash-of-20-virgins-night. Shut the fuck up tyrone & crystal meth elliot again showed up in the pimped-out luxury vehicle that will take them places far & wide haha wide. Are those 22’s?
Pump in my pussy sported his new name in style. Dead squirrel, halley’s comet—love seeing you on wed!! just sarah & G-spot were heartbreakers as usual.
Everyone gathered in a huge circle and the trail was explained. This is where the rest of the night gets fuzzy because some of us decided to get really drunk before the hash instead of ( I mean in addition to )after. Any cock’ll do’s fine long-socked ass beat us all by showing up smiley & drunk. Marks were explained, Just heather & Just Mike were interrogated, Just Mike promptly shed his shirt as usual, Lazy ass was a smart ass as usual, the posse made their presence known by looking fine, beers were consumed by all, and we were on-out to this fine south st. louis trail.
Residential streets, shiggy, lots of playgrounds, and push-up contests greeted us to start the trail. We finally got to the BN part of trail but it took a lot of searching and pissing in random parts of the woods to finally spot the beer stop in front of a gorgeous reservoir and huge, hung cliffy…er I mean huge cliffs. Was this heaven? No, this was Canadia. We imbibed for like an hour and then were on out to the end of the trail..oh wait I mean the second of 56 beer stops. Just heather & I forget who else were having everyone do push-ups and I forget why but I definitely did some and then got yelled at by my virgin just greg for not doing them in correct form. Some crazy hasher took a dip in the whitecliffe park pool which was closed (but nonetheless cool & refreshing). Ass backwards and nurse hashshit and a few others attempted to join this nonsensical person but the officials weren’t havin it. By this time there was not a sober hasher to be found. Oh this beerstop also held the 67th swingset of the night which hashers were happy to fondle, straddle and ride.
On out to … don’t really remember but we all at some point met up in circle after climbing some fences, peeing in some new construction sites, and running up steep hills. Dapper was looking hot in all his Canadian trail glory and the ladies were all-upons.
About 875 hashers got pantsed, most enjoyed by which was Mudpacker, the virgins just caden & just greg enjoyed displaying hidden voluptuous halves of body parts—or maybe caden just told a joke, I don’t remember but on the pictures I definitely saw him flashing massive erect and engorged body parts. Oh well.
Someone got hashshit, people got accusitizationed, people drank more, a lot of classic songs were sung, the posse continued to look and act hot, lazy continued to act like he was the shit, whiney bitch used his charm on all the hot ladies, and dapper basically showed that he was a Canadian pimp. G-spot made every boy (and maybe even some ladies) get a huge boner by showing off her hot panties. Damn girl put-that-thing-away and by thing I mean hot ass.
Nurse hash-shit loves rubbing HEADS all night long.
Fiddler on the roof made everyone (by everyone I mean pms) think he attended the entire hash but really he just showed up at the on-after to shove 67oz. of grilled meat in his mouth.
Wack on wack off obtained many gifts at the 1500 run in Chicago this past weekend, which he displayed in the form of head-to-toe syphilis and herpes wed. night. He was super-itchy poor baby.
All in all it was one of the GCHE –greatest Canadian hashes ever--goodbye newly betrothed dapper sapper and pms, your trail f*&^ing rocked.
Much love, Keyless Entry