I knew this was gonna be a fun hash. It was 900°C out and 1000% humidity. There’s nothin’ like being in close proximity to 50+ hot, sweaty, wet hashers (the wet part not necessarily due to the heat and humidity). Whiney Bi+ch and Duzzy Cìm were in the middle of chalk talk when the manager told us to pack up and leave. Was it the fact that we had alcoholic beverages or that our collective stench invaded the Schnuck’s store, offending the customers that got us kicked out of the parking lot? Whiney and Duzzy were so close to the happy ending that we let them finish before we scrambled to get the grope shot off so the hares could go off…together…alone. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
So on we went to the next circle…in another parking lot…where the naming of Just Erin commenced. Questions were asked, answers were given, names were nominated and voted on. And so it is, Just Erin will forever be known in the hashing world as I Cìnt Hear You. Oh, and Two Pump Chump, you are now known as Two Fµck Canuk (just in case you didn’t know that). After Nurse Hashshit finished her 8th Bacardi Silver Mojito (thanks, N.H. for getting me addicted to those things…they’re just like crack!), the pack was on-out.
Word on the street is that trail went through a mall. I didn’t know that because I was Dead Fìcking LOST! Do My Butt, I think it is more than just mere coincidence that you happened to be lost on trail 2 weeks in a row! Whack On- Whack Off, PMS, Princess, Nurse Hashshit, Have BOB Will Travel, Sexorcist, Wee Willie Winkie, Licka Good Neighbor, Throatback Mountain, I Hava Dick, I Cìnt Hear You, Just Tony and Just Jeff S. were all sucked into DMB’s lostedness. If we weren’t lost, we might not have seen the huge DICK on trail, so I guess it was worth it. Hey thanks, ICHY (itchy…hehe) for the boost over the fence. We were so close to having the mall rent-a-cop take us to the beer stop in his truck (we had insider information). Alas, it was not to be. So we zenned. Amazingly enough, we were not DFLs to the beer stop. Bama Mate, Viper Snatch, Lazy A$$, Fiddle Her on the Roof and crew brought up the rear. Either they were loster than we were, or slower…or drunker…hard (hehe, I said hard) to tell which.
Ass Backwards, , Lock Nut Monster, , Postage Tramp, Disco A$$, Muppet Fµcker, Keyless Entry, Fartfignugen, Pu$$y Fart, Stinky Fart, our lone virgin Just ???? (sorry, attendance isn’t up yet), Frankie the Dick Thrusting Pu$$y Eater, McGutter Slut, Eager Beaver, Cliff BangHer, Dicksmoker…y’all ‘r’ just a bunch of Front Running Bastages!
Long story short…back to circle. Songs sung, down downs done, Just Chad 10 runs, Nurse Hashshit and BOB 25 runs, Sexorcist 50 runs and Cliffy 69 runs, cranium bands properly christened, Just Patrick forever known as Kick My Balls, Fingerbangers honored, DMB and Dapper Sapper do hereby announce on this 18th day of July the year of our Lord two thousand seven their hash engagement (so Dapper can get a green card), more singing, more drinking, on to the on-after…Just Chad ceremoniously named Pump In My Pu$$y, loves the duality of his name (P.I.M.P).
Chemiluminescence (I just think that is a super cool word…plus I can spell it and pronounce it).
All in all it was just another shitty, pavement pounding, Whiney/Duzzy trail!
Licka Good Neighbor