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Wednesday 07/04/2007 #634

Postage Tramp's Birthday Trail & Rickys Crab Shack @ Downtown area

Hash Trash:

The biker chick’s hand slid slowly down into his running shorts. It was only a matter of time before she reached his quivering member.  She was certain that this man was the one for her, because he was in fact, Canadian.

(Sorry, I just wanted a shameless teaser that would be on the main page)

 

Big Hump Run #29,233 took place on the 30th anniversary of the founding of our fine Cuntry. To celebrate the nation’s independence from Canada, this odd bunch of hashers gathered in the shadow of the brewery and proceeded to pull each other’s pants down for three straight hours.

 

The hares, Ricky’s Crab Shack IWOO18YAIJWTPTO and Postage Tramp dodged some smoke bombs tossed by some wanker during chalk talk and were away.

 

Canadian Just Gordon from Canada was the Canadian subject of a Canadian naming and I believe we decided upon Second Pump Chump. I believe the Canadian story was that he once went home with two biker chicks (Canadian?) and proceeded to fulfill his duties as a Canadian and a Mountie and Pump them.

 

We went up the hill, encountered a HH BSBA (whatever the hell that is) over the highway, right past Venice and into the bowels of Benton Park. We were turned around on a few checks and met some nice upstanding neighbors who inquired of Loch Nut Monster about our ‘hash’ and use of cocaine on trail. I think we have some new folks coming next week.

 

We finally arrived at the first beer stop in the parking lot of the Lemp Mansion overlooking our wonderful Beer Factory. Pants were dropped, libations and pyrotechnics ensued. Some irresponsible parents let their kids run wild all over the place and play in the traffic on hwy 55. Then we craniumed out once again, this time following turkeys and eagles around the block a couple times and going back to…the…exact…same…beer…stop.

 

I do not know about you, fine sir, but I like to drink my brew in a multitude of locations. I honestly cannot remember what happened at which beer stop, but at one of them, Bama Mate led us all in the days of the week song after nearly running right by the stop. Just Satoshi put a Japanese twist on it: Tuesday is a chinpo day…Wednesday is a manko day…ask him what it means. 

 

We got back to A after a nice one block downhill sprint through a softball game. Upon returning, we found all of our cars, bikes and canoes secure and safe thanks to the watchful eye of Private Murphy of the nearby Weapons Cache.

 

Circle took place amid more smoke bombs and various down downs were awarded for patriotic attire, riding on two wheels to the hash, lost property (my broken cane), white panties, no panties, superman panties, being foreign, bringing beer and chitlins to the hash, new boots and backsliding. Mile High Baller and fellow Canadian Second Pump Chump got banded for their 10th run.

 

The two virgins whose names I cannot now recall caved to the rampant exhibitionism. Hash shit nominations were given and I can’t believe ________ got it for ________________________.  What was he/she thinking??  That’s insane!!!! (Where was Halley’s Comet with my notepad for circle, anyway?)

 

On after to some bar where Plot My G Spot served her family’s famous Funnel Cakes and more hashers were depantsed Canadian style.

 

All in all, just another Shitty 4th of July Hash.  

 

Disco A$$

 

 



Directions:

"Finally, a trail of the Big-Hump H3 of ST. LOUIS that's actually IN St. Louis. Downtown near the brewery. Fireworks watching to follow."

Time: NOTE: special start time of 5:00 pm.  Since it is a holiday and traffic for VP Fair fireworks can be nasty, we will start at normal Saturday time instead of normal Wednesday time.

Special: MUST WEAR RED, WHITE and BLUE.  Canadians, part-Mexicans and other furriners better have a passport or green card too…it’s the USA’s Independence Day….pay homage.

 

Metro: not really, one could use any of the downtown stops (Kiel Center, Broadway/Stadium) which are about 2 miles from the start...be aware that the trains will be fuller than expected because of VP Fair.

Stroller/Wheel: yes, no shiggy, but there may be a few alleys

 

Location: Lyon Park. 3259 South Broadway, Saint Louis, MO 63118

 

Map Link

 

Directions:

From the land of the Fighting Illini …cross the dreaded Poplar Street Bridge (be aware that traffic may be heavier than usual because of VP Fair).  Take the I-55/I-44 exit.  Then take the Arsenal street exit.  Turn left on Arsenal Street and then turn right onto 2nd street.  Look for hashers in Lyon Park.

 

From the south….take I-55 north, exit at Broadway.  Stay right and turn right onto Utah, then turn left onto 2nd street.  Look for hashers in Lyon Park.

 

From points west and north….get yourself to St. Louis downtown and onto I-55 south. Then take the Arsenal street exit.  Turn left on Arsenal Street and then turn right onto 2nd street.  Look for hashers in Lyon Park.

 

From hwy 40…you’ll have several options, none of which are good because of construction and traffic.  Most direct would be to take the last MO exit for Broadway.  At the bottom of the exit ramp, go straight 1 block, then turn left onto Gratiot.  Go to stop light and turn right onto Broadway.  Follow Broadway south towards brewery.  Turn left on Arsenal Street and then turn right onto 2nd street.  Look for hashers in Lyon Park.

 

On-After Location:  For those who wish to view the fireworks of VP Fair, there are several places all along Broadway which offer a view.  For those who wish to partake of beer sooner, the official on-after is:

O’Malleys Irish Pub

1900 Cherokee St.

St. Louis, MO

From the circle, turn left (south) onto Broadway, after going under I-55, turn right onto Cherokee St and go 3 blocks to Lemp.

In case you get lost or need further directions, contact Ricky's Crab Shack @ 618-972-4900


Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999
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