I was honored to be chosen to write this Hash Trash. Amazingly several hashers did not appear to be glad that I was writing Hash Trash. I had several hashers personally questions me, “Do you know how to write the Trash?” There was even, “If you do not know how to do it, let me know.” Well, I have been hashing for many years…. I might have even been hashing before some of your hashers were even conceived! I ponder what some hashers think about a guy from West Virginia would write as Hash Trash. Did you expect something like, “All ye all ran past the c-dan rustin on my sis and unc’s farm.” It is a good thing that nobody questioned me about how long it would take in turning in Hash Trash to the Management branch. If you would like to see a prior posting of my trash before reading below, please look at Run #544. http://www.big-hump.com/hashtrash/20060503/run544.html This I believe was one of my best trashes… but it was an easy one to write about…. the run was very wild. (I am still waiting for the trash to be written concerning the run I hared.)
Upon arriving at the hash several hashers were wondering how they found it. The directions were written so PMS like. I had no trouble finding it though… I have become accustomed to PMS like directions. Yes, this is very true.
The group shot was taken in front of a pile of cedar chips. Making it to the top was Disco Ass. His socks prevented him from being severely injured while climbing the pile. Long Duck Dong’s dog tried his best to join them at the top. Unfortunately, the dog became buried in a land fall. After the picture, Ass Backwards exhibited his recently sprained ankle. He informed the hash about his hot doctor. She told him he had nice bones while looking at his x-rays. He would really like for her to see his other nice bone.
I must say… there are two hashers that received the biggest welcoming then anyone in the hash. I can only hope that “The Lady in Red” will get a bigger welcoming. These hashers are, “Crystal Meth Elliot” and “Shut the F. Up Tyrone”. The naming of Just Chad was going on and here comes Crystal Meth and SFUT. It is interesting to point out that Just Chad explained he lost his virginity in a Chevy Blazer. Imagine after saying this and seeing Crystal Meth drive through the circle in his Bronco. Hey! Bronco… Blazer… almost the same thing I say!!! Did Crystal Meth made everyone laugh when he said, “You got purty whites there boy.” while hanging out of his window? You had to have been there. After hearing this, Just Chad explained that he was in the FFA (Future Farmers of America) and his father was a supervisor.
The run mostly went through an Ultimate Frisbee Park and it’s surrounding area. (very nice area.) It appears that Fe-Fe became caught in an Ultimate Frisbee net. It took several hours for someone to let him loose. If you wonder how this can happen, think of someone swinging on a swing and then going over the bar at the top. Or even better yet, someone raises a household blind but does not letting go when the blind starts going up. The result is the person being wrapped into the blind at the top of the window. Well this is what happened to Fe-Fe… almost. There was a search party sent for him during circle. Luckily he found his own way back to the hash. While running through the park, Nurse Hash Shit thought some guys were cute so decided to talk with them. What did she say? She said, “Are you guys gay?” There answer was a quick, “NO”… she was relieved. I guess she wanted to get an answer to that major question before she went any farther with them.
There was a Hash Halt approx 50 yards from the final beer stop. The FRB’s reluctantly stopped at the Hash Halt with BEvERages in sight. The beer, being a magical item, (just the opposite of Kryptonite) made the HH a difficult thing to perform. Several runners/walkers joined the FRBs at the Hash Halt and after about 10 looooonnnng minutes of waiting, someone yelled, “Screw this S%it”. A pack of 40+ was off and running full gallop in a 50 yard sprint. There were even walkers running I tell you!!! (Beer is truly a magical fluid.) What an amazing sight. I can truthfully say that we have never had the FRBs outnumber the DFLs until this event.
There were a pair of foxes checking the hash out while at the Hash Halt. When I say foxes… I mean foxes!!! You know… the animal….
During circle, what was Dewey thinking when she drug her posse into the hash? I mean… Tippecanoe was drug into the hash literally.. Tippecanoe fell onto her bottom but that did not stop Dewey from dragging her in. The result was Tippi having her knees severally scrapped up but truthfully…. aren’t they always like that?
At the circle I realized that Gay Blade, Hasher formally known as Gay Blade, Rainbow Bear… Huggy Bear, whatever his name is now… brought his girlfriend to the hash. I guess he wanted us to know that he is not gay. (I never thought that he was.)
There were some visitors during trial. These visitors were good to the hash as they passed out several articles of clothing. Were they trying to tell us something? Do we need to dress better? The visitors sung a song during circle about a bird. I truthfully blocked the song out by covering my ears. (Oh yeah visitors… Dr. Phil says never to sing that song again if you want any friends.) After the singing was over, I think it was demanded that a body part be shown.
Any Cock Will Do did something to remind a lot of hashers how old they are. I do not remember what that was nor did I write it down… but I guess that is a sign of my old age creeping up on me.
While in circle Postage was severally raped by a female hasher. It was pondered among several hashers if Postage was wearing a G-String of PMS. During this time it was observed that Ass Backwards and Whinny Bitch were involved in a tickle fight. I am not sure who won…. I was thankfully only informed about this.
The hash shit was awarded to someone Interestingly enough, Dewey reported that the backpack hash shit severely irritated her C7 vertebra. When reporting to work the next day, I discovered that she had correctly identified her C-7 vertebra
There were some significant runs. The hashers that had significant runs, I apologize but I simply did not write down who you were. I have it written that Viper was beat by Tippie and Any Cock Will Do in their blessing of the headbands. However Plot My G-Spot was the best blesser some hashers have seen in a long time. Speaking of blessing, did Do My Butt show her sister’s to the hash again?
An interesting award went out to Plot My G Spot. It seems as thought she placed 1st in her age/gender group during a recent 5-K run. (Congrats to Lazy Ass as I think he finished well also.) Well, ‘G’ did not know that she won so left the race upon finishing. She was awarded her 1st place trophy at the hash. Was it a trophy though? I thought I heard someone say it was a vibrating trophy.
Did I write something that offended you? Let me know so I can go to confession this Saturday.
On – Out
White Birch Park, 1186 Teson Road, Hazelhood, AGAIN!
This just in from Viper Snatch!