Bama Mate & Famous Anus - Country trail - BBQ @ Bama & Famous', Waterloo IL
Hash Trash: Best Damn BBQ EVER!
Saturday found the hashers traveling to the Estate of Bama Mate and Famous Anus for and evening of shiggy, suds and song in the bustling metropolis that is Waterloo, IL. While Wee Willy Winky supervised from his throne in the shade so as not to burn his delicate skin, there was an ominous amount of bug repellent and sunscreen applied as threats of flesh-eating poison ivy circulated. After giving the assembled little people the strict instructions NOT to drown nor provoke the roaming bears, the circle commenced and our hares for the strictly shiggy trail gave the usual chalk talk with one glaring exception. Famous Anus rudely decided that the Big Hump needed an intervention and explained that there would be Near Beer, instead of Beer Near, on trail. A small riot ensued and after Famous was nearly drown in one of the two huge swimming pools, the intervention was reconsidered and beer would indeed be present on trail. Whew!
Just Gordon and Lazy Ass were commissioned to commandeer the beer truck while Bama laid the walkers trail and Famous and FUT, muttering Urine-isms only he can understand, headed into the shiggy. The FRBs took off as usual, barely letting the extra 5lbs of mud hanging off of each shoe slow them down. With Virgin Just Boyd (Eagle Scout 1983!!!)and his angry eyes, pointing out EVERY SINGLE poison ivy plant we came across, the runners managed to make it to the first beer stop with plenty of time to compare their bloody limbs. Did I mention the trail was nothing but shiggy? Like "Back in Nam" shiggy with the bleeding and the sweating? While the group waited for Licka and WWW to finish having sex on trail, which will now be referred to as "being afraid of poison ivy", we were led in song by the lovely harriettes Bama and Pi Whole. If you see Bama with a smile on her face on a Thursday it could be because it’s FISTING day and you bet you a** it makes us happy!
There was more bleeding and sweating and sticker bushes and poison ivy (Eagle Scout ‘83!!!), and at the second beer stop there was a search party sent out for Numb Buns. Again. But all ended well and the circle commenced under a pavilion just as Running Nose rolled in waving a bottle of rum around like the pirate he is. Songs were sung and just about all in attendance spent some time in circle. Whiney Bitch whined the trail was too shitty. Fiddle Her On the Roof got called out for being too quiet and somehow Sexorcist got away with his little shorty shorts. Accusations and nominations were many, but in the end it was a very deserving Cliff Bangher who was awarded the hashshit for forgetting his shiggy shoes and having to call Pees Like A Princess en route and beg him to bring some extra shoes. As the circle was getting ready to close, Bama reminded everyone to stay off the dick so she could get the food ready and narrowly missed setting off another riot. We swung low and walked across the field to find out if any children were still alive. Princess said he hoped only one of his was. (Yep, you said that out loud!) Turns out we were able to stay off the dick, er...deck, long enough for Bama to put out quite an impressive spread of eats for all of us once she cleared the livestock out of the garage, wielding her sawed off shotgun. Many, many thanks to you and Famous Anus for taking such good care of us and I think I speak for everyone when I say IT WAS THE BEST DAMN BBQ WE’VE EVER HAD!
The on-after found us belching and bloated around a blazing bonfire underneath an enormous shade tree. Meta led the crowd in interrogating Just Chad and he was sent to spend some time on the dick with Famous who was tending to his meat. The official naming never did take place as the hashers were distracted by all the food. Pi Whole got a good tonsil cleansing by a sweet little brown haired virgin, Just Face Biter, and Running Nose’s two H.I.T.’s (Hashers In Training) led the naked fire jumping. Jesus Krist said to hell with crucifixion... and hurled himself backwards onto the fire. We all said a small prayer while Nurse Hashshit reminded him to Stop, Drop and Roll and Coppus Rejectus put out the flames with his bare hands. All in all it was truly a shitty trail followed by the BEST DAMN BBQ WE’VE EVER HAD!!
by procrastinator extrordinaire,