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Wednesday 05/16/2007 #624

Pi Hole & Norman Bates @ The Birthday Penguin Hash-wear black and white formal attire or penguin regala.

Hash Trash:

March of the Hashers


Our hares for the evening, Norman Bates and Pi Hole decided to celebrate their many years on this earth by conducting a pall bearer dress rehearsal complete with penguin clad hashing attire.  Duzzy Cum, Mud Packer and Help Me I’m Wet obviously didn’t get the memo.  The hares chose one end of the earth to conduct their B-day party….Narth County.  We welcomed three backsliders from the grave….Fartfignugen, Pussy Fart and Lock Nut Monster.  Fresh off her moistened bike seat was Madam Yuk with her running heals in tow.  Long Duk Dong impressed the virgins by talking about attending a musical.  They then asked him for some fashion tips.  After getting lost twice and calling PMS for directions (enter joke), Dewey Sexual System and Any Cock’ll Do arrived clad in their work cloths from their eastside job.  Do My Butt entertained some local skateboarding utes.  Do any of you happen to play guitar….Hehehe?  After chalk talk and the distribution of red and white Dr. Zeuss cranium gear to bimbos and virgins, one hare vanished and the other kept drinking?


As the pack set out, a knuckledragging hasher from Waukesha (pronounced ‘Walk a shit’) Palms 13:15 arrived.  Trail was uneventful until we arrived at the first beer stop in the middle of the woods.  The only problem was….there was no beer.  Ass Backwards found only a long abandoned empty cooler.  As usual, Whiney Bitch was the voice of reason and calmed the irate hashers down.  Postage Tramp tried in vain to order some beer from our matre’d for the evening Ricky’s Crab Shack.  As the hashers kept cumming, we decided to have a virtual beer stop (see photos).  Finally, Pi Hole arrived with a cooler and some COCKtails.  All is forgiven.  15 minutes after Norman left, he re-appeared pushing Lazy Ass up the trail to the beer stop.  So…we drank some more.  Eventually, hashers decided to leave the poison ivy laden mosquito infested feeding ground for more beer.


We encountered more locals from the hood with pink curlers in their hair making fun of us running with plungers, bow ties, and Dr. Zeuss hats.  According to photos, dead fish was on found on trail and DMB is so not cool.  The hares must have tired because they set a HH in Koch (pronounced 'käk) Park.  We arrived at the next beer stop with actual buckets of beer.  Coconut slingshots were fashioned by DMB and Dewey.  Late comer Disco Ass arrived straight from that plane landing place.  After almost deciding on not leaving the bar and making it the on after, we reasoned that we could stumble a few yards and enjoy more beer.


Circle commenced and Help Me I’m Wet presented the two arthritic hares with a candle ridden B-day cake (Pie?).  Hammertongue, Cliff Bangher, Ass Backwards, DMB, Any Cock’ll Do, Just Tim, Pi Hole, Ricky’s Crab Shack, and Follow the Urine Trail all drank for bow ties.  Just Ann revealed some of her lovely assets.  Keyless Entry made 3 virgins cum to the hash at one time.  You rock Keyless.  A total of 5 virgins drank.  67 more Ho-lateral Damage and we’re in heaven.  DMB extracted from behind her somewhere, 2 hashshits.  Dewey and DMB got them for looking hot and flirting with pre-pubescent teens.  It’s my story. 


At the on after, Donger threw a temper tantrum.  He couldn’t understand why he didn’t get a gift like Norman and Pi.  So, we shut him up with a present of china from China.  He has gotten so spoiled since the adoption.  Dapper Sapper and Just Gordon babbled incoherent Canadianese.  PMS emptied ketchup bottles on Cliff Bangher and Ass Backwards because they’re big weenies.


If you liked this hash, cum back next Wed. but turn left 1 mile earlier.


Postage Tramp

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999