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Wednesday 01/17/2007 #597

Famous/Licka/Bama @ Troy

Hash Trash:

Ah. Licka's Lickable Playground Hash. Or maybe it was the Welcome All Pedophiles Hash. Part of it looked like a Pay Our Respects to Dewey, R.I.P. Are you trying to tell me something? Good thing I stopped on trail to pray. Hash #597 started in Troy, but honestly, I had no idea Troy was that big, so I think we ended up somewhere else. I found it to be an evening of firsts, but I'll point those out along the way.
 
Circle up! The Edwardsvillians made it before the circle and grope shot (#1 it's about time!) and were able to drink a few before we left. Good for them. Licka led us in chalk talk which was very informative, although really all she had to mention was the chick-check symbol and that would have been fine. We had a visitor, Ass Backwards, from "everywhere" as he put it. Apparently not from the Midwest, otherwise he would have had long pants on. Speaking of long pants, Urine was sporting a pair (#2 Urine not in shorts). We were told before we left that there was a new mark on trail, LPG. Although my father told me that stood for Lesbian Pro Golf, this new abbreviation stood for Lickable Play Ground, where we would find things to lick on trail. I know all about licking things at the playground, but I still felt uneasy doing it in Troy.
 
On out! The pack was away and already in trouble. We came to a check that seemed pretty obvious. It wasn't straight (blow job) and there was a small icy river to our left (frozen puddle) with no footprints, so we had to go right into the field. Wrong! It was to the left, across the ice covered 'lake'. Silly us. We ran for a little while longer and then saw a playground. I did not find anything worth licking there. Then we came to a chick-check. Luckily, Just Laurin, Pornogenic & Dewey were around to check for trail. It was found and we came to the beer stop. Yay! We found candy hidden on the (playground) equipment and a stripper pole in a pirate ship. Or a fireman's pole, as CliffBangHer innocently pointed out (#3 first time a hasher did not think like a pervert). The hares left, beer was drank, and again we were out.
 
Chick-checks Galore! As the pack ran, I noticed something strange about the second part of trail. This was quickly realized by the first (of many) chick-checks. Dewey is the only girl with the runners. Fuck! After I checked all three ways before finding the correct path, the usual FRB's decided this was unacceptable and I no longer had to check the chick-checks. Unfortunately for them, they missed out on the boobies! Ha ha ha ha ha! I actually did the rest of trail topless, cutting down flag poles along the way with my razor-sharp nips. Ouch! Anywho, while, the  Just Jeffs, Just Austin, Ho-Lateral, FeFe, Urine, Shiggy Stomper, Halley's Comet and Turd Burglar cleared the way, I made it back with lots of candy as DFL. Occasionally Ricky's Crab Shack, CliffBangHer, and Just Kurt would walk with me. Pees Like A Princess left trail early, after taking a picture of a gravestone labeled Dewey (there was also a Dewey street and a Dewey School, I must get around...er, be popular). The best two quotes of the evening were Cliff telling a woman in a funeral parlor van that we were walking in the cold because "we're a running club, the three of us are just tired." Just Kurt telling me that "it's good to be DFL. That way we already know where to go. Besides, they're just going to make us drink, which I planned on doing anyway."
 
Back at circle! Circle was done in triple time, thanks to PMS. Part of me thinks Postage Tramp was trying to screw with her and make circle longer, but he would never do that. FRBs and DFLs (me!) were announced, as well as significant runs. Sexorsist was again called out for his 25th run, I guess this makes 50 and Any Cock'll Do was awarded her 10th cranium band. Those are still on the boat, so she was given a 25er to save for later. After Dewey christened it with her Tide scented vagina, Any Cock promptly lit it on fire, showing the hash what she really thinks of us (#4 mutiny of the hasher). Non-hash attire wearers, non-whistle blowers (isn't that a good thing?) and no-namers were asked to drink. Accusations were made for candy hoarders, chick-check skippers, and posse members leaving Dewey alone and scared, so scared. Hash shit nominations were given to Lizzardo, Ass Backwards, and FeFe for huddling by the space heater; PMS for nominating people for hash-like behavior (if she took her pills she can't drink, are you trying to kill her?); Postage for not being able to control the weather and Halley for bleeding on trail with no Shiggy (that may have been an accusation). The Golden Septar was finally awarded to Any Cock, for spilling three or four beers in circle. Ironically, she spilled none of the beer from the plunger (#5 first time a hash shit down-down was completely finished, although it took half an hour). We swung low and went to the on-after at Hornys.
 
On After! Tippecanoe and Fuck me Too and Just Mark  made an appearance. I guess I was wrong about the Eville people making it on time. We ate food and left candy for the workers (kidding Licka, we took it!). Just Alec tried to buy every Harriette a shot and also tried to make him mom smoke a cigarette. I see who the bad influence is in this family. After everyone had left, Any Cock realized she forgot the hash shit at the restaurant, but called Just Mark to get it for her. Tsk tsk.
 
May the force be with you and may the hash get a piece,
 
Dewey Sexual System


Directions:

Licka's Lickable PlayGround Hash

Troy, IL - Directions coming soon!


Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999
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