Oh the weather outside was frightful.......... Well not so much but later that night. Crap wrong story.
The evening was dark and dreary until Princess and his girl "Just Dawn" showed up at McGurks for the start of the Big Hump Pub Crawl...err stumble. Arriving kind of late allowed for the crew to have a few beers head start. Lets see there was Keyless in her sparkly santa hat, Cliff Bangher, Ricky's Crab Shack (oh yeah it only happened once), Meta Arsehole, Just Austin, Just Bryant, Lizzardo, Fat Bastard and Meta's Entourage (I can't remember everyones name). Pleasantries were exchanged and beverages were consumed. Soon after everyone departed for the next stop.
But wait, Meta led us on a detour to the land of Star shaped waterfalls and Pomegranate Vodka. What?????? Yes Pomegranate:
pome*gran*ate / Pronunciation Key -noun
1. a chambered, many-seeded, globose fruit, having a tough, usually red rind and surmounted by a crown of calyx lobes, the edible portion consisting of pleasantly acid flesh developed from the outer seed coat.
While Meta retrieved the lovely liquor, Mud Packer and Elbow Deep arrived with big hugs in tow for everyone to receive. All rejoiced and sang a little ditty before tasting such a sweet treat as Meta provided...........ON-OUT to Joanie's.
Wow, Ricky did his job proper.....he had lined up some kind of spiced apple shots for the gang at Joanie's. Some had pizza and beer to fill their bellies and we had more join us for the crawl. Hummers, Fe Fe, Iron Lung, Antrax Tampax and Queen of the Pussies arrived to fill out the pub. After everyone sang and did some down downs Meta called ON-OUT to the gift exchange site..........A.K.A. Johnny's. While most of us went to Johnny's......Cliff and Keyless went to the blues game....more on that later.
When the Big Hump arrived at Johnny's, most of the guys jaws dropped to the floor. No it wasn't beer specials either. All the waitresses were very scantly clad oh and felt so nice. I for one, grabbed a handful or two of young stuff. Anyway, here the beer flowed free and I am pretty sure some new hashers arrived (Pee Pole`,
Dicksmoker, Postage Tramp, and PMS) and we also picked up a non-hasher (Jeffro - yeah I spelled it right). After a few drinks we had the Dirty Santa.... Lots of alcohol, Porn and other cool items exchanged hands....Bottles of wine were opened and people groped....er hugged.
ON-OUT to Hammerstones
Who do we find at Hammerstones? Yes it's "DO MY BUTT" she liked the place so much from this summer that she just wanted to hang out early there. But what is this about a cover? Ricky to the rescue and we were shuttled to the back courtyard with a heated tent for us to party in. Here is where more debauchery occurred. Cliff and Keyless arrived, back from the blues game or was that the 2 hr motel? Cliff was acting as Santa and brought........err acquired a rather large sack of delicious Popcorn. Boy that stuff really hit the spot. Fat Bastard and Lizzardo (FB & L) took it upon themselves to name or try and name a few Justs. Just Austin was first and failed to give us much of anything to work with..........FB & L had a name but I just can't remember it, I guess it didn't stick. The next try was successful. Just Sandy after explaning that her throat hurt was named "Throat Back Mountain".
Everyone loved the name including Sandy. The circle was broken before we could get to the "Man who was not in his normal uniform" Just Bryant.
ON-OUT to Molly's
The pack was rather tipsy and the trek to Molly's was starting to get blurry. When we arrived at the upstairs party pad we find a rather sharply dressed Ho-Latteral. The party was happenin'.....Disco lights and a DJ or was that JUST DJ? Who knows. The women and Just Bryant started to trip the light fandango while most of the men just drank and ate popcorn. After watching Just Bryant dance, I wanted to call him "Safty Dance" after that 80's Band Men Without Hats and the little Jig he was dancing. It seemed that our time at Molly's was shorter than the rest of the places and we were being shuttled out the door for the last stop on the our......
ON-OUT to the Great Grizzly Bear.
Little did I know there was going to be an actual trail on the pub crawl. Keyless laid a great popcorn trail to which a few of the drunks ate up. Then she showed a select few her goodies..........yes boys that's boobies. I sure wish I was there to see this glorious site but alas I was taken for the evening and was on my way home in the Princessmobile. From what I heard a rather large Grizzly Bear fell on Tinker. Someone else will need to fill in the rest of the story, though I doubt anyone can remember much else.
Pees Like a Princess