What do you get when you mix 6 martinis, several vodka tonics, and a shot of Kahula before a hash run? One extremely shotty memory and one hell of a good time! Several hashers gathered off Hampton this Wednesday for the 1st annual SLUH Alumni Reunion, uh, I mean Big Hump Hash #690 in what appeared to be an abandoned high school parking lot. Menacing fence aside, when I showed up everyone seemed to be enjoying the freezing December weather and the freezing beer. Mmmmm...beer. Meta gathered everyone in a circle and introduced our hares for the evening. Set to lead us through the mean streets of whereever we were were Disco Ass, HO-Lateral Damage, and Postage Tramp. Our hares conservatively drew out dots and letters with their flour, and generally confused our virgins. I have to say that I was a little worried about a trail with three hares who are generally the first to every beer stop and finish, but I was too drunk to run anyway, so no worries. Where's the walker's map?
After a 10 minute head start and more beer our pack was off. Walkers to the right, runners to the left. I would love to report of running shenanigans, and I actually asked some people what happened, but then I forgot. The walker's trail was equally difficult. Down to Hamm, then to Oar, then the bar. Along the way, marriage advice was shouted to a lovely couple in a store window picking out a wedding cake. "Don't Do It!" was screamed by the virgin Just Jason. The beer stop was a bar called Pat's.
Thirsty hashers ascended the endless steps to the top of the bar and proceeded to get rowdy. Just Charlie was the first behind the hares to the beer stop and one by one, sweaty hashers arrived. Just Liz was named Any Cock'll Do in an informal ceremony for licking pictures I think. I can't really remember because the Jaeger shots and beer chugging contest with Licka and Just Dawn kinda made things cloudy.
The runners left and the walkers eventually found their way back to the circle. By this time, everyone was having a great time, or at least it seemed that way to me. Our virgins were reintroduced to the circle and Lizzardo showed them how to properly do a down-down. Jokes were told and songs were sung, but no nudity from this group of virgins. Amazingly enough though, this would not be the case later as our beloved circle was streaked. Did anyone else remember that or was I just that messed up?
Two Justs were awarded hash names as well. The aforementioned Just Liz was dubbed Any Cock'll Do and Just Neil was dubbed Monkey Ass. Please use the comments section below to fill in how these names were awarded as I have no clue. It's good to see some people doing name worthy acts on trail though. FRBs were rewarded, backsliders were chastised, and pints of lager were handed out. Hashshit nominations were Do My Butt, Purple Muffin' Stuffin', some others, and myself. Since this is when my blackout started, again please use the comments section to fill in why these hashers were nominated as it slips my mind. Regardless, I won the hashshit and proceeded to drink half while spilling a quarter on the ground and a quarter on myself. I'm sure it was deserved. Everyone then swang low and got a piece or two.
Was there an on after? No, seriously.