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Wednesday 12/06/2006 #588

Whiney Bi+ch @ Olivette / University City

Hash Trash:

Today is Wednesday. Wednesday is a HASHING day! I'm still feeling a little hash hangover from Memphis...but what better cure than the hair of the dog. We met in one of the millions of strip malls of Olivette. Just Bryant...still wearing the same clothes. Licka? are you here yet? BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRP. Yup. Wee Willie Winkie showed up with his cut open lip. I'd hate o see the girl who hit him.

Meta Arsehole began circle by binging in Dewey (sans posse) to drink from the hash shit.

Whiney came into circle and gave a chalk talk to the virgins/visitors where he explained that the flour he was using was laced...with jello. Which, when wet...turns the color Mauve. His words, not mine. Meta blessed the hare and he was away.

I'm not sure why we were giving a notorious FRB a 15 minute cranium start, but that gave us time to sing a little days of the week. Meta was doing some wishful thinking... a Fing day twice in one week...lucky guy. Must not be married. Of course Bama's favorite day is the fisting day!

We were on-out shortly after that...good thing, cause someone's eye was going to get poked out by a falling icicle. The trail was a mix of pavement and fields and a bobsled track. I think Rainbow Bear, Just Jeff, Keyless Entry, and I Wanna Ryder set a new Olympic record in the co-ed bobsled hash event.

Muppet did his best Disco Arse impression and slapped a sign. I'm confused...is that a family thing? or a Japan hashing thing? Guess I'll have to go to Japan.  And what's up with these tame names from Japan hashers...has anyone actually verified that there's nothing else to Muppet? Like at least Muppet Ass? Or Muppet F*cker?

Finally, We found the Beer Stop...luckily a nice little fire was burning for us in the woods. Or was that a message from GOD?
Shortly after the FRB's go there the walkers showed up. They would have been there earlier, but Famous couldn't read the map and had them walk a half mile out of the way. Which was a good thing in hindsight, because DMB and Dewey were able to get in some much needed butt-sledding.

Mudpacker, the habitial late cummer that he is, needed directions. Bama had to borrow Just Neal's phone to talk him to the beer stop. How do you tell someone how to get to a place when you have no idea where you are. Somehow she did it.

The hare was on-out and we only gave him a 10 minute cranium start this time. The trail wasn't even marked though, just follow the path back. We made our way into Olivette's personal stash of mulch, which might as well have been one giant turd. God, that was some nasty smelling stuff. It smelled like a turd covered in burnt hair. As we left...a sign we should have noticed going in "Don't Go In There".

The Beermeisters had to carry the cooler back, and as it became heavy, they decided to transfer most of the load into a much better container for carrying. Their stomachs. Nothing wrong with a little impromptu Beer Stop. While Just Lynn was looking for her dog, Keyless Entry took off and snagged FRB honors. Cumming down the trail toward us was Mudpacker...he ALMOST made the beer stop.

We circled up and the virgins (Just Anne, Just Lynn, Just Neal and Just Sara) entertained us with some short jokes, a runners butt crack, and an amazing rendition of Baby got back (we need to sing her the harriet song next time she cums).

There were a few Pints of Lager...named hashers without whistles...come on. Shorts on trail...did nobody go outside before the hash? Dapper Sapper for not wearing shorts. There were others...but hell, who can remember all that crap.

Hashshit nominations started with Cliff Bangher for causing a tri-state hasher hunt in Memphis and for wearing a superman hat. Frozen was also double nominated for licking the Jello flour and not having ever been hashshit, Whiney nominated for lack of alcohol with Jello, Halley's Comet for having hash songs on his phone. DMB for nominating someone for hash like behavior. After the dust cleared it was a tie (not really...I have no clue why I didn't get it in applause).

Trial by down down. In this corner weighing in at a petite 105 lbs...the undefeated...5 time champion DMB. And in this corner standing in at 5 foot 10, 6'4 with the afro...the self-proclaimed Memphis tour guide Cliff Bangher! Wow...it was close, but most of the hashers agreeed that Cliff Bangher finally beat the fastest down-downer this side of the Mississippi.

After the circle, Dewey showed NOBODY exactly why all of us want to father her children. Stripping in the parking lot should be a spectator sport but we didn't even get a slight glimpse. I can't believe nobody saw that. Then, Follow The Urine Trail was kind enough to show me exactly how NOT to get to the on after.
At the on-after we were treated to some open mic comedy which proved to be a bash session on Mudpacker. But that's not all, Just Josh (aka chris elliot) was mistaken for the Una-bomber and a crystal meth addict. Hmmmm Crystal Meth Elliot? Come back next week Just Josh.

All in all it was just another Shitty Trail,

Cliff Bangher


Map Link

Meet at the parking lot on the south west corner of McKnight and Olive Blvd in University City. FYI: North of Olive McKnight turns into Woodson. The intersection of McKnight/Woodson and Olive is one block East of Interstate 170 and Olive.

Drive to I170 from I270 (north side) or Highway 40 (south side) and exit at Olive Blvd. Go east one block and turn right (south). Turn right into this parking lot and look for hashers. The beer stop will have a camp fire.

Your hare for this trail:  Whiney Bitch

Is this trail near a metro link station?: No
Is this trail stroller/wheel chair friendly?: Not very

On After Location: T-Billy Buffets (up Woodson Rd., right into the shopping plaza at the light before Page Ave and across the parking lot)

In case you get lost or need further directions you may contact Whiney @ (314)568-5833.

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999