So did anybody else spend Turkey day explaining why there’s a faint yet noticeable Marvin the Martin stamp on their face? Or in some cases … ass? Was that just me?? Thanks Ricky’s Crab Shack (it only happened once and it was 18 years ago, my ass) next time use the WASHABLE ink.
Regardless …. Glad He Ate Her & Postage Tramp, rather fabulous hares for the Wednesday, November 22nd 2006 #584 Maplehood hash. As I arrived to the parking lot of the cleverly chosen Aldi (the international retailer specializing in a limited assortment of private label, high-quality products at the lowest possible prices), the night before Thanksgiving, I was surprised to actually have found a parking spot. Aldi shoppers must be WAY more prepared than the average Dierbergs shoppers, as I did not notice any crazed moms on a desperate search for that “oh shit I forgot _____ and I HAVE to have it for tomorrow” item.
After an attempted car jacking by disguised (sock hat and all) Just Anthony (did he lose his keys again?) I made my way to a “just right” sized circle, not to big, not to small … let me break it to ya guys, size does matter, no matter what they say. The oddly sober Glad He Ate Her lead a very informative chalk talk for the 3 virgins that came out Just Adam, Just Elisa and Just Jay (nice ass) and then the hares were off.
And then the pack was off. There was much debauchery as usual on trail, the hashers reeked havoc on the tiny sleeping town of Maplehood, I mean wood. I’m not even going to start a list off all the peeing on trail, way more urine than normal on trail. There were Cheesy Puffs on trail … boners on trail … Sexorcist decided to take a dump in a “No Dumping Zone” on trail … and Viper molested black Santa on trail. Speaking of Viper … not sure if anyone else noticed but I think we’re on a new kick. She’s sporting a new black Beemer, she molested black Santa, I couldn’t help but notice she and Just Chris appearing from an alley together look’n all happy AND she got nominated for her ghetto bootie. Hhhmmm …. Interesting trend for the evening.
Glad He Ate Her and Postage didn’t let us down with a few good beer stops, great job boys! Pub crawls ALWAYS welcomed by the hashers, especially us slackers. A couple Jack and Cokes later we were off again, but not for long. The genius of multiple beer stops and a Rally’s stop on trail is beyond me. WHY do we not do this every time?
Eventually the pack made it back to Aldi’s (the international retailer specializing in a limited assortment of private label, high-quality products at the lowest possible prices) parking lot to find that half our pack auto hashed back from the bar stop. Bastards! ANYTIME there is auto hashing involved include me!!
Forgive me for the shitty circle scribe-age as PMS, DMB and myself were busy eating Frozen’s meat. Dam that guy knows how to get the chicks!
Anyway, that one guy … what’s his name? Oh yeah Meta conducted an awesome circle where Keyless narrowly escaped getting the hash shit again, only to be saved by Hog Tool’s mad skills of multitasking - why miss circle just because you have to pee? Do it there! Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before?? Again, way more urine than the norm for the evening.
Many down downs later, including Cliff Bangher’s down down of NyQuil (freak’n baby, man up!) we swang low and were off to the on after. Which …. If you were there then you know what happened and if you weren’t then you don’t.
All in all just another shitty trail.