Likes It Long, Liv Er Die & Bama Mate @ Forest Park area
Is it Hump Day already? Hashing in the CWE, near a metrolink stop, pretty central for everyone, you'd think we'd get a good turnout, right? NOOOOO! Only 68 hashers showed up. Viper, could you see if you can recruit some more people? And Just Mike, don't you have any more friends you can bring?
Another batch of fresh beautiful virgins...where do these girls come from? Is there some farmer out west somewhere that's missing some of his daughters? Anyway, the Hares, Likes It Long, Liv Er Die & Bama Mate, gave the most vague chalk talk in recent memory, neglecting to mention arrows, true trail marks, and just about BN and BS. In their defense, it was with good reason, as the trail didn't have any of these marks.
Just Doug was grilled about his sexual position preference, animal preference, and hat size in hopes of generating a name for the boring POS. Unfortunately the only thing more boring than the questions were his answers. Do something dumb and memorable you idiots!
Eata decided to bless us with his presence as we were on-out and 5 seconds later he was the FRB...how'd that happen?
We came to a check right on the metrolink tracks. It split the pack in two, right when a train was cumming. As the train passed we respectfully waved as the commuters gave us looks that said "Save us from this life that doesn't including hashing!" Losers.
I was shocked that nobody mooned or flashed them...but hey, it was still early.
After some minimal shiggy, we found we were fenced in...again the pack split in two, some under the fence, some over. Immediately we found ourselves at a Hash Halt with a history lesson. We were mourning a loss of a building and also the Crocodile Hunter. So the story goes, on this spot there was a building that used to house a giant aquarium filled with Jack Daniels. And one evening Steve Irwin, the hasher that he is, wrestled a giant man eating drunk he nicknamed "Mudpacker" Crikee! It was a glorious fight and end the end Steve tamed the wild beast.
Speaking of Mudpacker, what was that smell as we were Hash Halted? We had to escape the stench...so again the pack was away, with a few hashers ignoring the arrows, and who could blame them, nobody'd seen any marks resembling arrows on trail before.
Viper was able to find some lost hashers (Just Chris Elliot & his sidekick) that didn't make it to the circle...are these hashers? I wasn't certain because they looked more like they fell off a passing turnip truck. Nice. Fuck'n Nice.
At the Beer Stop we again smelled something completely foul. Someone blamed the baby, so Flossit changed her daughter's diaper in the back of PMS's car. Viper lent a helping hand and discovered that Flossit's daughter was a true hasher. How'd she find that out? While wiping the girl she noticed somthing...I'm going to leave the rest to your imagination, let's just say that that girl ain't right.
After the Beer Stop it was much easier to find the marks...oh wait, no it wasn't.
We circled up and found that Just Brian had been talking to a pole thinking it was Meathead. Everyone knows that Meathead looks more like a mailbox than a pole. Guess what, Hashshit you are.
The virgins entertained us, but the best by far was the sorority girl song that Just Kate and Just Emi did...store that one away for material. Check out the pics if you didn't get to see that. Princess, could you learn how to focus that damn camera?
The On-After location was a mystery and directions were about as confusing as the trail. And if you're wondering nobody was named...
Tune in next week (and Saturday you lazy bastards)...same hash time, same hash channel.
On-On, Just Doug
When:Wednesday, September 6, Meet at Pack away at 7pmish
Venue:Central West End
Your hare for this trail: Liv Er Die, Likes It Long & Bama Mate (A threesome!!!)
Note:Bonus points for whomever finds the on-on sticker on trail and remembers the address.
Is this trail near a metro link station?:Yes
Is this trail stroller/wheel chair friendly?:Yes
MAP LINK HERE:
From MO – From I270/Hwy 40 – Take 40 East to the Kingshighway exit. Cranium north on Kingshighway. Right on Forest Park Parkway. Right on S. Newstead. Left on Duncan. Park along the north side of Duncan, or in the fancy new lot if you don't get busted by security. Start will be approximately in front of the 4340 Duncan building.
From DownTown – Take 40 West to the Kingshighway exit. Cranium north on Kingshighway. Right on Forest Park Parkway. Right on S. Newstead. Left on Duncan. Park along the north side of Duncan, or in the fancy new lot if you don't get busted by security. Start will be approximately in front of the 4340 Duncan building.
From IL – Take I64/40 to the Kingshighway exit. Cranium north on Kingshighway. Right on Forest Park Parkway. Right on S. Newstead. Left on Duncan. Park along the north side of Duncan, or in the fancy new lot if you don't get busted by security. Start will be approximately in front of the 4340 Duncan building.
On After Location:TBD
In case you get lost or need further directions you may contact Bama Mate @ (618)593-4175.
Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999