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Wednesday 06/30/2004 #400

Open @ St. Louis

Hash Trash:

The night was warm and pleasant as the group gathered outside a car wash that had shut down for the night. Bama Mate and Famous Anus brought the littlest hasher (at 11 weeks old!) to come for a run. Witty Titty Carrot Committee and Dancing Queen were strangely interested in the little hasher. The group was sporting two hashshits from Waldo's Pimp and Humptus Interruptus, two train whistles from Blows Like a Freight Train and Waldo's Pimp, and a broken arm for Toxic Shock. The group circled up for an exhaustive chalk talk from the hares, Postage Tramp and PMS. Responding in kind, Duzzy Cum exhaustively floured the hares and then they were off. A couple of minutes later Blows spotted the silly rabbits as they wandered too close to circle - a shortcut it was to be. Finally, the pack was off.

The hashers picked up the trail immediately across the street where Blows had spotted the hares. Down the street. Check back. Up the street through the alley and to the corner. Then the trail sort of disappeared. The hashers were darting back and forth across Gravois and River Des Peres searching for the next dot, despite having a harrow and dot immediately to its right (need to research that sign). Finally Anthrax Tampax found the trail leading through the cemetery. Over the graves and down the lane to a check. Dead Squirrel and Anthrax Tampax were sure that it led through the woods until they hit a TP-BJ high the in the trees. Back down towards the road and past the pet cemetery. The runners caught up to the walkers about the time that the trail led into an apartment complex. Check back 9. The most of the group thought that trail surely continued along the road, even though Whiney Bitch was only able to count to 7 by then. After all, the walkers kept going. On on. Or was it? Has anyone seen any flour dots? At all? Finally Mudpacker called PMS and discovered that 7 is actually not 9 and the trail really goes continue at 9.

The group made its way back to the Beer Stop in the woods that actually did continue from the ninth dot. It seems that the walkers did see the trail, but decided to keep going anyway. That'll teach us to trust the walkers - just because they are told where to go doesn't mean they know how to get there. At the beer stop the group was divebombed by a squadron of blood thirsting mosquitoes. And then Madam Yuk arrived with information. Trail continues over the river. Silly hares. The hares took off and the pack followed quickly after - several pints on blood lighter. Trail led down a steep slope, over a creek, through a tunnel to the River Des Peres. Madam Yuk discovered that the river is deeper in some places as she waded through the water. Most of the hashers learned from her example and went around the pools of water. Humptus decided to follow but took off his shoes to keep them from getting wet. Up the bank and into the park. I think. There was a lack of dots at this point, but we found one. It led to a BJ, but we followed it backwards to find the check. The check was at the end of the stagnant pond - really the River Des Peres looked and smelled better. Around the pond back towards the road. Where trail disappeared. Completely. There was one dot this way and one dot that way. Despite our best efforts, we could not find a trail. Screw it - On In. Surprisingly, we did find dots for On In. Hmmm.... I guess the Iraq War is causing SERIOUS flour shortages all of a sudden.

Circle was a celebration of everything it means to be a hasher. There was significant runs - 10 for Cross Dressing Guard (christened by Flossit) and 69 for Madam Yuk (Duzzy helped her out). Humptus brought champagne to celebrate 400 runs - best champagne for under $5.00 a bottle. FeFe, Duzzy, PMS, and Postage drank from the new boots - Did tax refunds come in or something? Whiney and Norman Bates were checking out the little virgin - come on guys let her start crawling first. Just Tom was beat by a girl (Dead Squirrel) twice. Meta Arsehole and Dead Squirrel drank for sucking on each other. Pretty much bad whichever way you say it. Postage and PMS earned the double hashit for their incredible disappearing trail. On after was at the Sybergs Party Room.

All and all it was just another shitty trail.

Waldo's Pimp


Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999