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Wednesday 05/12/2004 #390

Open @ Affton

Hash Trash:

May 12, 2004

With a few exceptions, hashers had no trouble locating the start of trail. The pack found themselves that warm spring evening forlorn, muttering to themselves. Aimlessly, they wandered around the coolers of beer, saying, "Madam Yuk is a little ray of sunshine in our otherwise dark and dreary lives. She is so smart and beautiful and not fat at all! Where ever could she be?" The pack showed how much they cared by taking off running just as I drove up. Postage Tramp waited for me while I changed clothes. I was just thinking about how chivalry isn't dead after all, when I realized he just wanted to watch.
Fartfignugen laid a fine trail and was able to get some hashers somewhat disoriented. He was concerned that he was going to be caught, because the FRB arrived at the first beer stop a mere 7 minutes after he did.  I told him to set a few ladies' checks, primarily because I'm an idiot.

The next part of trail led the pack by a long, dark drainage tunnels. Why, there was a ladies' check there! How about that. This would have been fun to explore, but He Who Feared Being Caught because he's out of shape didn't have time to do so. I insisted that they be checked out anyway, for the above mentioned reason. I  barked at Bathroom Boy to give me some light. I walked into one drainage tunnel, and Just Brian joined me. Just Brian and I, for the record, had sex 69 times in there. Okay, may just 7, or none. Somehting like that.

Somewhere on trail, Whiney Bitch appeared. Somewhere else on trail, Just Brian found a construction worker/community service type vest with reflective material. He put it on because SAFETY comes first, and being SANITARY comes last. PMS agreed, as she tucked the vest under her shirt when it became "lost property." Someone please fart all over Floundering Assplant the next time he's in town, please? He has corrupted members of our hash. Now they have become annoying, theiving theives. Thanks, Flounder. Ruv you wrong time.
The pack was on-in after a few rounds at Larry J's. Norman Bates appeared in time for circle. Postage Tramp made everyone drink for some silly-assed reason: FRB's were Witty, Madam Yuk, and Eat a BB; DFL's were Willy, Jeeeezus Christ, and Meta Arsehole; backsliders were Bathroom Boy, Dancing Queen, and Hopeless; late cumers were Madam Yuk, Whiney Bitch, and Norman Bates. Humptus Interruptus and Just Brian had to do a down down for un-hash like behavior. That didn't want to drink any more beer because it would make it difficult for them to r_n. Boys, this is a HASH. Knuckleheads.

Congratulations to Meta Arsehole on his 50th hash with the Big Hump. We made him drink for that. Hashshit went to Just Brian, for throwing away almost 4 full years of medical school to become a crossing guard. And I'm thanking Bathroom Boy in advance for the case of wine and the road trip to Augusta in his Beamer. BB, remember: your wife can come along, but she has to sit in the back seat.
I did notice Pornogeninc r_nning on trail. Porno, you go, girl!

On-On, Madam Yuk



Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999