(To the tune of "Please Pass the Schnaps") I went to a football game, the Panthers and the Rams Witty and I got so fed up, we dropped trou and showed our hams. We wanted to be left alone, reagardless of the cost. The Panthers' fans stopped teasing us and the Rams still LOST.

Ah, what a game it was. PC Porn and Pornogenic shit-canned their "Hobo-Porn" trail so we fans could watch the double overtime play-off game at T. Billy Buffet's, Hoosier sports bar extrordinaire. The football game itself was quite a spectacle. I had no idea that the play-off games are played on a three-hundred yard field with 3 sets of players! Mon Dieu! I didn't get to see what the other two sets of players were doing, but one set of teams gave us one hell of a show.

PC Porn had reserved a big table for the hashers. Good thing he did that ahead of time, becuase he was still sawing wood by halftime, when the live trail was supposed to be set. PC apparently got to bed late at 11 am, instead of his typical 5 or 6 am. Tsk tsk tsk. Screwing up his own hash. Pornogenic towed the line, though. I say he ows her a special favor for being the responsible one. Meta Arsehole and Dicksmith started watching the game form the far end of the table, Pornogenic and Norman Bates were at the front. Eventually, most the seats becaume occupied. Hopeless and Just Dana invited others to sit at our table, which was very kind of them.

T. Billy Buffet's employees had a habit of swearing into the microphone. "Y'all know we're working our asses off, so give us some fucking tips!" To the table's right were a group of people who were clearly Anti-Rams. They barked, howled, teased and booed at us and the Rams. They were rude, annoying, and fun. I wanted to throw a beer can at them. Instead, Witty Titty Carrot Committee suggested that we moon them. Despite her husband's objection, Witty and I could stand it no more. We stood up on our chairs and mooned our opponents. The boos turned into laughter and applause. A representative of the Anti-Rams declared that because of our act, they would no longer harrass us. He also asked us out. The Anti-Rams pretty much kept their word, until the Panthers scored a field goal in double overtime. Then we desreved the razzing. At least the Panters had, you guessed it, KITTY CATS on their helmets and sleeves! Kitty-cats!!!! Purrrrrr Purrrrrrrrrr Purrrrrrrrrrrr! Oh, how I love kitty-cat cats! Let's root for the Kitty-Cats next week. Who's with me? All of you? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Ah, and then the hash moved outside for our long-awaited trail. Pornogenic and PC led the pack through the parking lot. A misleading arrow brought us into a boutique of some sort. The employees seemed to expect us, because Pornogenic warned them that the store would be infiltrated by drunk people. Well, excuse me, we weren't drunk. We were just drinking.

The temperature had dropped significantly at sundown, and some of us were very very cold. Postage Tramp came to the rescue, and a few of us got to play "Post Office." Thanks Postage! Why am I so sore? PC got the hash shit, for obvious reasons. All in all, it was just another shitty hash.

On-On,
Madam Yuk