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Wednesday 07/16/2003 #326

Postage Tramp & Pencil Dick @ Maplehood

Hash Trash:

Summertime, and the hashing is easy.
Beer is chillin'
And the trail is short.

NOT.

Pencil Dick and Postage Tramp set an arduous trail through Maplehood residential areas, shiggy, train tracks and that fetid, algae infested storm drain that one had to scrambly amble down into. And all this in 90 degree heat. What FUN. Didn't Just Randy twist his ankle ot the storm drain? (PT, PD: his blood is on your hands.) But the pack started off in high spirits: skipping, giggling. Just Adam had a good pace. I even spotted PC Porn jogging. I was worried that he may have a (in whisper) "running problem."

The speedier hashers were diligent in marking true trail at the checks. Meta Arsehole asked a woman if she had seen some people running. "Yes," she replied, "What is he laying from his sack?" She pointed and said that he (hare?) was "down the street and to the left." So M. Arsehole, Whiney Bitch, and some other hasher, who will remain nameless, took off in that direction. Some hasher, who will remain nameless, even marked the direction with an arrow. Good thing no one followed me I mean that other hasher NO, there wasn't another hasher! What other hasher? Ah shit.

So this other hasher and Whiney Bitch were quickly followed by Eat a Bloody Bitch, M. Arsehole, and Pussy Fart to T. Jody's, the first beer stop. This spacious, smoke free environment was a welcome sight. Most of us wanted water right away. Yummy, soothing, delicious water. Why? because the trail was FREAKIN' LONG! Cripes! Postage Tramp and Pencil Dick have SERIOUS running problems. No water for them. Jerks.

Hashers were either drinking beer inside or on the corner in languid repose as Pornogenic and PMS arrived. Flossit, PC Porn (running problem in remission), WTCC, and Mud Packer, were putting money in the pukebox as the rest of us were off, bounding gazelle-like into the evening. Ok, not really. After what we'd been through, starting up again was best described by P. Fart, "This does NOT feel good."

The more spritely hashers had to wait for Dancing Queen to liberate the cooler from his car. PMS RICED Just Randy's ankle. She also fed him beer. We waited for the hasers who had the common sense not to run in the heat after consuming alcohol to arrive before starting circle. We were pleased to have Orgy Butter and Just Jaime join us.

Like the trail, the circle was long. Pornogenic and Floss It With a Faucet received head bands for significant runs. Most people got their lost property returned from the Luau, which they promptly donned. There's something about grass skirts that make any event a PAR-TAY! Meta Arsehole got the hashshit for following that woman's directions and losing trail. That other hasher, who will remain nameless, was thankful to be overlooked.
Suckers.

The On After at McClain's was special because of the naming of Just Randy. The hash was assisted by a table of strapping young sporty boys, who were in great favor of the name eventually chosen. They would holler repeatedly, "We want Major Penetration!" (Did any one suggest to them the Central West End?) Therefore, Just Randy will, from this day foreward, until we change our minds, be known as Major Penetration.

All in all, it was just another shitty hash.

-- Madam Yuk

Summary


Run: 326
Date: 16 July, 2003
Title: Maplehood
Location: McClains on Big Bend in Maplewood
Hare: Pencil Dick & Postage Tramp
Hash Shit: Meta Arsehole, for getting bad directions from an innocent bystander
Beer stop: This one little bar. What was it called, again?
On-After: McClain's
Attendance: 17 + 1 appearance + 1 dog



Directions:

Going Westbound 40: Take the Big Bend South exit (2nd Big Bend exit). Stay on Big Bend until your reach McClains on the left, at stoplight at Oxford, across the street from McDonald's.
 
Eastbound 40: Exit on Hanley and go right (south) until you reach Manchester. Turn left on Manchester. Go to Big Bend and turn right. Look for McClains on the left across from McDonalds.
 
Westbound 44: Exit on Shrewsbury and go left (north). Travel to Big Bend and go right. At the very next stoplight, find McClains on the right, still across from McDonalds.
 
Eastbound 44: Take Murdoch / Laclede Station exit. Go left on Laclede Station (north). Take this to Big Bend and go right. Look for McClains on the right, across the street from McDonalds.
 
When you get lost, call PMS at 314-221-5411.

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999