Sweet Ho's Halloween Hash @ Carondelet Park Boathouse
Hash Trash:
Trail 1654: Halloween Hash Trash 10-27-21
So you know it was a good night when I get home from a hash at 12:21am.
It all began when I was driving in Carondelet Park, thinking roundabout was a straightaway, yikes! I pulled up to a half-ass pirate DDD sitting in his chair, looking befuddled as Frida arrived. People started to show up and show out. The costumes were spectacular. Just Cam had a costume nobody got, Quarter Pound Me was just Blue, da da ba die da ba die, Dewey was Star Wars Jedi? Meth was A FUCKING BAG A METH! Wet Spot was Ms. Day of the Dead and TMI had a onesie on, Just Stephanie was a Golden Girl? There was a dinosaur, cop and prisoner, Whiney Bitch was someone from the Villiage People- Macho Macho Man! Pussy Snatcher was divine as a butterfly, and finally there was a bewildering man in a black trench coat walking around like impending doom. The figure did not suggest Disco Ass, but more sinewy of a form. Then all the puppies showed up, and I totally got my canine fix. No beer to dogs unless consent from parents!
Soon it was On-Out! I walked with a variety of people on trail, isn't that part of the fun? There was a check with Sweet Ho's mustache which was a clever mark, and hilarious. There was house after house of spooky lit yards and mechanical trickery. I knew those houses must give out good candy, like Snicker bar level. Then there was a beer stop with beer and better yet, Sweet Ho's House with Treats, No Tricks! Hot chocolate, whip cream vodka, good beer and all the Reese's this Tick could eat. On-Out and On-In to a costume contest that Maybe It's Methamphetamine deservedly won, hand-made and his namesake! Then Just Stephanie was finally named Black Tar Bomber thanks to maybe trying opium in high school? To help her celebrate, a bunch of us went to The Haunt where we sat on the patio until it rained, then went inside to dance to W.A.P., My Dick, and George Michael. There was billiards and boobies, then it was time for this Tick to bounce.
All in all, it was just another, Shitty Trail.
Just the Tick
Directions:
It's that time of the year again when we commemorate the time four years ago when two hares not at all familiar with South City laid a trail on Halloween that was immediately obliterated by every child in the 314 area code who had come to tell jokes and get candy. No kids this time, though it's a fair bet Locknut will lay in someone's yard decorations and pretend to be dead for like 6 hours waiting for the pack to stroll by just so he can scare them. Really though, that's going to happen so be ready for it.
Dress up in your finest costume and you might just win best costume and a special prize (spoiler: it's a vial of the hare's blood).
On-After will be at The Haunt - St. Louis's premier Halloween/horror movie themed CASH ONLY dive bar with a big patio area out back. This bar has shitty bar pizzas that take 15 minutes to cook. If you are hungry after trail, there is Jack in the Box and Cecil Whitaker's Pizza en route from circle to the on-after on S. Grand.
What to expect: Trail, shiggy, beer, booze, candy, hot beef, Locknut scaring the shit out of you
Circle Up:
Carondelet Park Boat House
https://goo.gl/maps/wqmKnMfS1XT1DPA68
On-After:
The Haunt
5000 Alaska Ave
St. Louis, MO 63111
https://goo.gl/maps/6wCgGEtfSaU2