World Peace Through Beer Hash @ Tower Grove Park Old Playground Shelter
Hash Trash:
World Peace Through Beer 2021: A Walker’s Journey
Boy it's been a long time since I've written one of these. I'll take my "$2 off your next hash for writing hash trash" wooden token the next time I attend.
I didn’t have time to pick up any international beer, but since I was at Perennial before the hash, I thought a Belgian local beer would suffice. I grabbed a 4-pack of Hommelbier from Perennial and headed up to the Chinese Pavillion in Tower Grove Park.
I know this was the common starting place for Not-Big-Hump, but it was my first time starting there. It’s good to get out to a hash every now and then and let people know that you’re still a half mind, especially after getting Covid a month ago.
PSA: get vaccinated so you have less of a chance of dying, but also know that it sucks real fucking bad to get it even if you are vaccinated, so continue to do all that you can to mitigate it to protect others and hang there if you do contract it.
There were several coolers with random unfamiliar beers and hashers and dogs circled up. Quarter Pound Me started the hash and pulled Strap On and Mouthwest Airlines (great name!) into the circle for chalk talk. There were dots, arrows, and drywall marks for some reason (what are we Chicago now?) but I wasn’t really paying attention. The hares were blessed and given an ample amount of time to cranium out. Walkers were away and I almost missed them because I was peeing behind a tree.
Walkers found the trail and then the bathroom and then got a little lost on a check. Utilizing my extensive hashing knowledge and expertise, I theorized that the hares were too lazy to cross Grand. I was right! Hash smarter, not harder. Also the hares really don’t actively try to kill you with the exception of LockNut Monster. We followed the marks into the neighborhood just North of the park and weaved our way in and out of back alleys and sidewalks, taking careful notice of where the runners were going. Checks were marked by Just The Tick with twigs and other detritus until Ovary Punch came swooping in with his fancy chalk and his runner’s attitude. As it started to get dark, we found our way to our first beer stop, in a pavilion that looks like every other pavilion in the park. This one had really soggy benches that were not great to sit on. Beer was consumed and we trudged on through the night, like Def Leppard.
At one point, Kibbles & Dicks lost his dog Shadow in the park. Kibbles and Just Brandon wandered in the darkness yelling “SHADOW!” like two goth kids trying to summon an Invidiak. Luckily, Quarter Pound Me found Shadow before the second beer stop, so disaster and demons were averted. More beer was consumed and we wandered the 100 yards to the start.
Circle was short and sweet, and the pack had pretty favorable things to say about the trail. A fire was started, and Pints of Lager were given to the hares for the beer and to Ovary Punch for graciously marking checks correctly. There were no significant runs, and maybe not even any insignificant runs, but we drank anyway. Hashshit was awarded to Kibbles & Dicks for losing his dog, so Purdy Mouth stood in for him because he had Chewy there and it was the closest thing we could get. The circle ended and the pack voted to have the on after around the fire with Dominos delivering to the park. I ducked out when Garage-A-Tois said her goodbyes, threw a hedge apple into my car, and dumped a bunch of cases of Bungle beer near Strap On’s car, thus officially ending my 15 year tenure as beermeister. I’ll definitely be back though because someone has to drink all that Keystone Light.
All in all in was just another Shitty Trail in Tower Grove Park with differently flavored beer.
Yours forever in the bond of hashing,
GladHeAteHer
Directions:
It’s that time of year again! Time to cleanse all of that nasty pumpkin flavoring out of your pipes and get some true, quality brews in you. Well, for the most part. We’ll celebrate bringing the world closer together by sharing our favorite international beers. Perhaps, if we close our eyes, we might actually get the feeling that we’re enjoying a beer in a beer hall in Munich, on a sidewalk cafe in Prague, or even better, sitting on a plastic stool next to a gutter in Hanoi (where I’ve honestly had quite a few tasty beverages).
No hash cash required if you bring a 6-pack of INTERNATIONAL beer to put in the cooler to share. If you don’t, the usual hash cash applies. (Still, no hundos!)
This will be Mouthwest Airlines’ inaugural haring with Strap-On as his guide. Trail will most likely be walker, wheels, and hound/pussy friendly.
Circle up in Tower Grove Park at the Old Playground Shelter (across the main drive from the Chinese Pav).
5pm, or a bit earlier (maybe 4:30pm) if your up for a bit of pre-lubing with all the great beers.
Cranium lights!
