5th An'al Bridesmaids Hash @ Statue of the Naked Truth
Hash Trash:
When the hash starts at 3pm and you aren’t saying your goodbyes until almost 9pm, you know it was fabulous. WELCOME TO THE FIFTH ANAL BRIDESMAIDS HASH!
In spite of being told that we were circling up near the statue of the naked truth, I did not actually expect a statute of a naked woman to be where we started. I got in late so I can’t tell you much about opening circle, but I can tell you that everybody looked amazing. #wecute
We zigzagged through the Shaw Park neighborhood, giving our best poses at all of the grope shot locations, looking at the gorgeous architecture, and getting hoots, hollers, and whistles from muggles sitting on their porches enjoying the beautiful weather. We even ran into Donkey Punch and International House of Penis, who were unknowingly dressed for the occasion and brought their pupper! Chewy was super excited to see his homie join us on trail! Shadow was thrilled to make a new friend.
As we rounded the corner to see the remnants of old Steve’s hotdogs (it’s now located on Grand!) we found a CS mark. Apparently there’s a park across the street from Steve’s that was the perfect spot for a limoncello cocktail stop! The hares even rimmed the glasses!!! #ohwefancyhuh
Not too long after the cocktail stop, we ran into a dance party hosted by DJ Strap On. We found a fantastic cul-de-sac with plenty of room for dancing, twerking, and the occasional muggle trying to turn their car around. #queuethecupidshuffle
We continued traipsing around the neighborhood and Maybe it’s Meth took the extended route with his still bandaged ankle, which led him past Icee’s plain and fancy. Would’ve been a great stop had the rest of us not been distracted by the promise of vodka cupcakes waiting for us in TGP.
We made it to the cupcakes, which were moist, bomb, and melted in your mouth. My only wish is that there were more because who doesn’t love cake in your mouth?
The biggest surprise of trail (maybe just for me) was getting to walk through the PRIDE FESTIVAL! So many beautiful people. All the love. If you could bottle happiness, I’m sure this would be it. And the amount of free booze they were handing out didn’t hurt either. #FreeBourbon #FreeVodka #FreeCoconutRum #MaybeThisIsWhyWeHadToHaveOnAftersAtTheStart
While at the pride festival, the pack ran into none other than Ice Princess, Fake Bake, Two Fuck Canuck, Peoplee, and Dos Hickeys. Some of us got rainbow tattoos and face paint, and Dos Hickeys was so sweet and giving, that she sent us on our way with a bag of soggy nuts. Much appreciated!
From there it was a straight shot back to the circle trying not to spill the free bourbon acquired during the festival.
Closing circle was a blast! We had fancy namebrand pickle chips and Doritos, and somebody left rainbow soap? Yeah, follow up if that was you who bought fancy artisanal soap at pride. No significant runs, but all the significant funs and then! There was pizza.
Again, there was lot of free booze at pride fest and a lot of fantastic booze on trail, to the point where driving the 2 miles to the designated On Afters or the 10 minutes to Ice Princess and Fake Bake’s was not gonna happen. Thankfully, the self proclaimed pizza princess Humping Iron remembered there was a Domino’s less than a mile away from the start. With contributions from a lot of awesome hashers, she managed to order some pizzas and chicken so we could sober up. We ate, drank, and danced the night away until it was time to go home. But not before completing a round of thunderstruck!
All in all it was just another shitty trail. See you next year!
Love is love. I love you all. On On. - Humping Iron
👣
On On
Humping Iron
Traveling Whore-Ables H3
Directions:
*Note the early start when RSVPing*
Your Hares of Honor, Sweet Ho Alabama and Colorado Cock Tease, request the honor of your presence at the Always a Bridesmaid Hash, Saturday the twenty-fifth of September, two thousand and twenty-one, at three o'clock in the afternoon.
On-After to follow immediately after.
Bridesmaids' dress attire requested. Mask, cash, and ID strongly encouraged.
Our absent bride has a to-do list about three miles long and she needs her bridesmaids to handle her things! Bring complaints about how ugly the dresses are, passive aggressive remarks about your own looming spinsterhood, your best groomsman-snagging game, and Listerine. Oh, and $7 for hash cash, 'cause Bridesmaiding is expensive.
Runner/Walker/Wheel/Pet friendly
Circle Up:
Statue of the Naked Truth
Compton Reservoir Park
1938-1998 S Grand Blvd, St. Louis, MO 63104
https://goo.gl/maps/nd3iigw1rRUJAJ3c7
On After:
Friendly's Sports Bar & Grill, maybe
