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Saturday 05/25/2019 #1560

Vomit Comet & Is Your Refrigerator Cumming @ ???

Hash Trash:

The circle formed at lovely Cherokee Park where the hares Vomit Comet and Is Your Refrigerator Cumming informed us to park on the north side of the park where there was practically no parking. As the hashers began arriving, it was noted that A: There was a large turnout for a Saturday hash, and B: There was no beer. Eventually TSA arrived to collect our money, and provide an entire big ass cooler full of beer, which was promptly carried up a hill. Once it was time for the pack to be away, it was decided we should probably get the RA to start the circle. Of course, being newly minted RAs from elections just one month prior, none of the RAs could be bothered to attend, so Pussy Snatcher was pressed into service to commemorate her newly given name by immediately making her take charge of the pack. The circle began to form into an actual circle, apparently in the living room of a homeless person, as all of their effects were staged for their evening like 15 feet from where we circled up. We did the usual circle activities such as forgetting what songs to do, forgetting to announce who we were, and forgetting what order to do everything in. We were treated to a virgin, Just Tanish, who just stared wide eyed at what was transpiring before him.

Eventually the hares were called in to do a chalk talk, where they proceeded to show us their lovely marks and explain that this will be an educational trail, as there is a history of beer caves in the St. Louis area. We were tricked by the recommendations to bring cranium lamps and assuming the descriptions of tite and dank were just millennial speak instead of cave references, but fortunately nobody read the descriptions posted anyway so those references were lost on the pack at large.

The pack was then off! Off south from Cherokee park, down the historic row of mansions including Lemp Mansion and Chatillon DeMenil, where it was remarked that this would be a beautiful scene for a themed hash such as a bridesmaid hash. It was at the end of this block where the hash was met with the first beer halt, which we were promised were all cave themed. The pack split the generously provided single can of PBR and wondered aloud where any trace of a cave could be, before moving along. We then proceeded through what I can only assume (because I’m too lazy to look it up) to be the Lemp brewery, and then around Shepard School, where Reverse Australian Shepherd demanded a picture, assuming that Shepard and Shepherd are the same word because they sound the same when you say them out loud. Somewhere around here we had another beer halt to celebrate another cave that there was no outward indication of, with another entire 12oz can of PBR for the entire pack to enjoy together.

We then ran down Cherokee where we passed the on-after, in what was noted to be an attempt to taunt the pack with refreshment, and it also was noted that nobody brought cash or ID on trail, otherwise we would just skip the whole damn thing and go to the on-after since we were there already. Being that we had no means to enjoy Earthbound at this time, the pack then proceeded onward past some checks to the beer stop, which was at the end of a ¾ mile straight shot much to the pleasure of all the usual FRBs.

We all partook of the beer stop and were soon off again. (Seriously if you want to see the beer stop, Beaver Chaser took and posted enough pictures that you could print them off and make a flip book from them, and have an animated re-creation.) The pack proceeded to go around the AB brewery where there was nary a beer to be found, although we did soon find a complaining Whiney Bitch running the wrong way with two cans of Naturdays, as he was the lucky finder of the promised fishhook. The runners and walkers then joined up at yet another beer halt to share what was presumed to be yet another entire can of PBR just for us, but no, this time we were met by Claim to Flame who was enjoying a tallboy of busch and regaled us with his surprising the hares by beating them to their own beer halt. The pack then enjoyed not one, but 6 entire tallboys of busch, quelling our complaints of not enough beer at a beer halt by suddenly shifting gears to complaining that there was too much beer at a beer halt. Eventually Whiney and Ovary Punch came in, an incorrect assumption made that the fishhook had been solved by these two. EVENTUALLY EVEN LATER Tased and TSA came in to the beer stop, where we were informed that it took them so long due to the fishhook and sex on trail, but if you look at the strava feed, they just missed a turn and did some extra mileage. After we finished all this beer, it was back to On-In.

We circled up, met our virgin, introduced everyone to each other, called in pints of lager, called in general complaints, which was pretty much everyone, then proceeded to hash shit, where it was between the hares for always dressing the same, the GMs for whatever GM –like behavior they did, and a few other people who I can’t remember because I wasn’t really paying attention. The hares lost a drink-off to the GMs, and had to enjoy the hash-shit, which they thoroughly did. We awarded headbands to our significant runs, celebrated July birthdays, and then swung low. Pussy Snatcher learned that there was more than one verse to swing low as she lost control of the circle, and the pack was content to go all night before “May the Pack Go in Peace” was shouted out by enough people who came to drink, not to sing.

Yours, Fatliner

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Circle: Cherokee Park

Hares: Vomit Comet & Is Your Refrigerator Cumming?

RA: Pussy Snatcher

(In)Significant Runs: Vomit Comet (30), Betty Cocker (90), Whiney Bitch (720)

(Very)Significant Runs: Pussy Snatcher (10), Is Your Refrigerator Cumming? (25)

Virgin: Just Tanish (Pussy Snatcher) [joke]

Beer Stop: Corner of Cave St. & 7th St.

Hash Shit: Vomit Comet & Is Your Refrigerator Cumming (lost chug off to the GM's)

On-After: Earthbound Brewery



Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999