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Wednesday 05/15/2019 #1558

Fake Bake and Beaner Wiener @ Brentwood

Hash Trash:

Finally the first warm dry day of 2019,  Wednesday of May 15 the Big Hump gathered at Brentwood Park.  The hares were none other Fake Bake Fuck and somebody with dark curly locks of hair  Beaner Wiener.  Quarter Poundme  ran the circle and called in a visiting hasher named Whore with no name ( I like names made from song titles ). The hares explained their trail marking system, and ask for 15 min.   Hares Away


See Tased I can do paragraphs.  Waiting 15 mins is hard for me, but today I had my first strawberry lemonade natural light beer, while waiting, so it seemed longer.  Finally the pack is away.


Trail splits, right for the walkers.  We never see the walkers again till near the end so I will tell you who they were 2 Fuck Canuck,Betty Cocker, Dapper Sapper, Just Jennifer, and Purdy Mouth.  The  runners go straight toward Manchester on Bremerton till a ladies check.  Dewey who just makes the hash today after driving a thousand miles and recently dumping Disco in the Missouri River, solves the check leading the pack West behind some Manchester business. The pack is lead by Fatliner, Maybe it's Methamphetamine, or just Meth, and Cums on the Record, or just Record


At Rockhill road, trail turns South then West and we run by Rockhill city hall (I did not know Rockhill was a city) we run behind Lucky's , global brewing, RSI kitchen and others, till we finally head into the woods to enjoy a little shiggy.  Little does describe the shiggy, a pile of grass clipping and a trickle of water blocks us from a hash halt.  The visiting hasher Whore with no name decides to go back and gather up and help the people in the back of the pack, a concept never thought of  by the rest of us.  Record observes this behavior and refers to him as a positive G Tort, ( I didn't know G Tort but those who did thought it was funny).  How do you like my headlights now and Locknut show up after starting late, and when Quarter Poundme and Fuckushima make it to the hash halt, the pack is away.


Reach around Rabbit, or just Rabbit is found trying to solve the next check, but he can only tell where trail does not go. a hole in the fence behind Hacienda Mexican restaurant gives Meth a chance to lead the pack back to Manchester Rd and across it onto Kortwright rd, , a turkey eagle split by Hudson Elementary takes Meth, Record, Fatliner, Locknut and Roadkill, around while the rest of the pack makes a right on Stantley, with Dewey leading to another ladies check, Headlights solves the check going North on McKinley and gives herself a long lead while Cums on Down Under thought she solved it and had to do her own trail to catchup.


A right on Old Warson Rd then a left on McKight gets the pack to a Beer Halt.  The beer at the beer halt reminded me of how I get rid of beer that has been lying around at my house, a blue moon, a Yuengling, my favorites and others odd and ends.  Everyone  made it, eventually, Quarter Poundme and Fuckushima make it and finish the beer


Thanks to a hint from the hares, we quickly find trail across McKnight and onto Creve Coeur Dr, The hares skip the construction site and keep us on the road, up to Sutton and right on Rockford, past a Pizza Halt (no thanks) and onto Manchester Rd.  From Rock Church I see the FRBs Meth, Fatliner, Record and Locknut, crossing Manchester onto Collier Ave.


A beer stop and walkers greet us behind the UPS store.  I try to chill with a Truly berry favored beverage while Record got the Blues hockey game on his phone just in time to see the blue score a leading goal ( sorry they did not keep the lead)  Walkers away, runners away and we are back to the start.   The Hares drink, the visitor Whore with no name entertains us with a joke a song or a body part (It happened so fast I was not sure which one he did) .  More hashers get pulled into circle for various crimes and good deeds, Roadkill gets Hashshoot for well, roadkill like behavior.  Announcenents and the on after are decided and we swing low and Hash  number 1558 is complete.  Thank You, Fake Bake and Beaner (nice hair by the way)  ON ON -- Road Kill


Circle: Brentwood Park

Hares: Beaner Wiener, Fake Bake Fuck

RA: Quarter Pound-Me

(In)Significant Runs: Betty Cocker (88), Cum on the Record (115), Tased and Confused (180), How Do You Like My Headlights NOW (240), 2 Fuck Canuck (265), Fake Bake Fuck (277)

Visitor: Whore With No Name (Traveller) [woo!]

Beer Stop: Schnucks Park Lot on Collier Ave.

Hash Shit: Road Kill (for constantly trying to abandon the pack)

On-After: Trainwreck Saloon (watched the Blues get screwed by a no-call on an illegal hand pass)


Yeah, Yeah!
A lot of hashes have started from this location.
Hell, Locknut was just here 5 months ago. It may even be the same trail but since neither Fake Bake or Beaner were there, they don't care.
Show up, drink some beer, run the trail and complain about it later.

Circle Up:
Brentwood Park
9100 Russell Ave.
Brentwood, MO 63144

What To Expect:
A shitty trail with shiggy.
Runners Trail with a possible Turkey/Eagle Split and a Walkers Trail.
Since it's been raining a lot it's "free mud for all the hashers" (walkers excluded) but not to worry you can wash your shoes at a water crossing.

What you need:
Cranium light, possible change of shoes and/or articles of clothing. Your dirty whorish mouth.

On After:

Big Hump Hash House Harriers - St. Louis, Missouri - Established 1999