Ice Princess was pretty excited about retiring from mismanagement, although I overheard a conversation a few weeks ago between Tazed and Splash, our new GMS, and I'm not so sure she should have given up on us. Just, well, decide for yourself:
"Ahh, not so fast Tazed. You heard Ice Princess, weíve got adventures to go on. Just you and me, and sometimes TSA, and sometimes Sweet Ho, but NEVER Claim! You wanna know why? Because he CROSSED me. OK, take it easy, Splash! Th-that's dark. Oh it gets darker...Welcome to the darkest year of hashing. First thing thatís different, no more Claim. He threatened to turn me in to mismanagement, so I made him and mismanagement go away... Ohhh fuck... I repla<burp>ced them both as the defacto-GM of the Big Hump. Oh man... Ice Princess wouldnít have accepted me if I came home without you. So now you know the REAL reason I rescued you. Ohhh-woah... I JUST TOOK OVER THE HASH TAZED! Oh man... And if you tell anyone I said any of this, Iíll DENY it. You'll deny it... And theyíll take my side, because Iím a hero, Tazed. And now youíre gonna have to do whatever I say, Tazed, FOREVER! A-and I-Iíll go out and find some more of that Tequila Szechuan Taco dipping sauce, Tazed. Wh-what are you talking about? Because thatís, that's what this is all about Tazed! Szechuan? Th-thatís my one arm man. Iím not driven by avenging my dead family <Tazed 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘭𝘴 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺> Tazed, that was FAKE! <𝘢𝘯𝘥 Tazed 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬> I-Iím driven by finding that, Taco Sauce. Tacos? I want that Tequila Taco Sauce, Tazed. Tequila? Thatís my goal Tazed! What the hell? If it takes 9 years, I WANT MY TACO DIPPING...What're you talking about Splash?...SAUCE SZECHUAN SAUCE TAZED! What are you talking about? TH-THATíS WHAT'S GONNA TAKE US, ALL THE WAY TO THE END TAZED! 2028, 9 MORE YEARS TAZED! Taco sauce? 9 MORE YEARS UNTIL I GET THAT DIPPING TACO SAUCE! What is that?!? FOR 9 MORE YEARS MORTY! What're you talking about?!? I WANT THAT TACO SAUCE TAZED!!!"
That's how it happened. Swear.
Anywho...trail was pretty long for being hared by someone who never runs. There was a cryptic message during chalk talk: TBTS. We spent a good 10 minutes trying to figure that one out. We got Taco and Beer, but never tequila. Warm, gross tequila. Aren't we having a tequila mile next week? What is this, Tequila H3? There were Jack in the Box tacos though, so YAY!!! Looks like Splash won't have to wait 9 years for the Tequila Szechuan Taco Sauce after all. Whew. Wait, that wasn't Szechuan? Fuuuuuuck.
Also, from now on all Beer Stops have to have food. You can thank Dewey and Record and the "Best Beer Stop of the Year." You're welcome.
(Around this part of the trash I took a peek online for the attendance and found a summary of the hash. So....yeah....never finished.)
Um, we finished trail even though there were no marks leading us home. "Just go that way!" was good enough apparently. No one got lost on the way. (Or did they?)
Gladdy did a great job RA'ing and fucking up songs as he tends to do. We drank beer. 27 hashers broke the coolers. Whiney bitched. Annnnnnd we swang low. Good job all around.
Yours, forever and deeply,Dewey
Circle: Sublette Park
Hare: Ice Princess
RA(s): Fake Bake Fuck, GladHeAteHer
(In)Significant Runs: Reverse Australian Shepherd (20), Is Your Refrigerator Cumming? (22), Reach-Around Rabbit (30), Licks and Sticks (177), Tased and Confused (177), TSA (188), Purdy Mouth (365)
(Very)Significant Runs: Sweet Ho Alabama (69)
Virgin: Just Peter (Vomit Comet) [joke]
Visitors: Virgin Mobile (Jolly Roger H3) [song], Limp Fish Dick (Beijing H3) [song]
Tacos, Beer and Tequila Stop: Berra Park
Hash Shit: Vomit Comet (lost a chug-off, poor handling of virgin)
On-After: Some went to Bobby's Place, which was crazy crowded, others went to The Hideaway
Cum join IP for her “I’M NO LONGER GM!” trail.
Meet at the corner of Sublette Avenue and Reber Place
(unless there’s a softball game happening, then we’ll move down)
You never know what kinda trail IP will lay - it could be 2 miles or 10. But you can expect a pavement-pounding, piece of shit trail... there will be beer!... Runners and Walkers will be accommodated... and plan on some sort of (nice?!) surprise.
2652 Hampton Ave
St. Louis, MO 63139