O what a hot September evening. I think I am still moist.
The pack (well, some of them) donned their finest school girl outfits, priest habits or Roman era Jewish Savior robes and circled behind Webster’s Highway 61 Roadhouse. By the way, what’s Highway 61, where is it? And why is its roadhouse on Orchard Rd?
An under the weather Dewey and an over served Puke Halt stumbled back from a little pre-laying/staging of various drink stops to present an alphabet-laden chalk talk to the eager circle and a wide eyed virgin named Just Patrick. So many new letter combinations were presented, mostly different versions of imaginative drink halts. Don’t ask me to name them, my main concern was being able to handle all that booze.
The pack was away and zig zagged through the streets of Webster, startling the fancy patrons of the newly opened Frisco Barroom – try the upstairs patio, it’s quite nice. At this point, Just Jason pointed out a house from where he used to procure a certain low level decriminalized narcotic. I only mention this because later on in the trail, Kibbles also pointed out a (different) house where he has done the same. The mean streets of Webster Groves, indeed.
Holy Redeemer Catholic Church was the first stop for body and blood aka shitty wine and saltines. A devout Holateral Damage looked on unapprovingly.
Quite a lengthy trail was encountered by the Eagles as the pack struggled to see marks on the very dark streets. What’s this about the city being so poor they can’t afford proper street lighting? Spending their tax base on schools, infrastructure and community assets? Bollocks, I need to see where I’m stepping. Anyway, a Holy Water Halt had the sweaty pack happily gulping down 5% carbonated water canisters.
Trail streaked through the athletic complex startling soccer moms playing tennis and soccer kids playing soccer. Up and over Highway 44 on the pedestrian bridge, a moon halt and a puke halt with the delightful Prophecy Pinot Grigio. 59 Minutes and Hummers graciously hosted the beer stop, even bravely opening the hot tub to the filthy Whiney, Just Adam and Monsignor Gladheateher.
One more halt, a Jesus Juice Halt in front of a virgin Mary statue at Nerinx Hall had most of the pack slugging an orange drank/vodka mixture and trying not to wake the nearby sleeping nuns.
Back at A, circle was commenced by yours truly due to a tardy Gladdy. Awards were presented, Dewey stepped in for a lost on trail Tased for significant runs, and Secret Cervix gained new cranium wear for r*n #25. The hares won hash shit, beating out Postage for going to the wrong Webster hasher’s residence for the beer stop and a few other wanks for various offenses. Puke Halt took too long drinking the sacred vessel, so your faithful RA splashed his co-hare with sweet cool nectar.
Kibbles was Kibbles and left only to return 10 minutes later to retrieve his forgotten dog. TSA left to retrieve her forgotten man friend Tased who had decided to also run the Turkey trail on the back half of the beer stop. Can’t wait to see the live tracking video for that clusterfuck.
All in all, just another very shitty, but very enjoyable Catholic School Girl hash
Yours in Christ, Disco Ass
Jesus typically doesn't hash, but he'll be pogo hopping his ass down for the Catholic School Girl Hash. So dust off your skirt and prepare to repent as Sister Dewey and Brother Puke punish your soles.
6 S. Old Orchard Ave
Webster Groves, MO 63119
Hwy 61 Roadhouse and Kitchen
34 S Old Orchard Ave.
Webster Groves, MO 63119