There is no finer time of year to visit lovely Lemay, Missouri than a chilly November evening. The celebration of Veteran’s Day brought forth two reluctant hares – Cum on the Record and Puke Halt. The pack made their way to the start despite the nearby interstate being shut down due to a drive-by murder. #ourtown
A very dark park awaited the pack. Frankie circled the drunks and chalk talk was laid. Promises of Beer Halts and Puke Halts set the stage for a disappointing affair. The pack was soon enough away, up River City Boulevard a click to some train tracks running along Gravois Creek. The pack was soon dispersed by some chick checks, some unmarked turns and some very thick shiggy with sparse toilet paper marking the way. Yours truly and Strap On spotted the hares up ahead in the creek, arguing like an old married couple.
The pack resigned to get their tootsies wet in the flowing sewage, then through some lovely deep shiggy on the far shore of the creek. We were informed later that this is the point where we somehow missed a Puke Halt, a malted wine concoction, probably best we did. From the creek we emerged into a quiet neighborhood and onto the cop infested Bayless Rd. Trail cut into the recycling center, the pack getting yelled at as they trespassed. Through the back of the complex, the short cutting FRBs caught up to the hares who gently laid a Hash Halt.
Post Hash Halt is really where it went to shit, frankly. We were led on a path almost a mile down the creek, then the trail abruptly ended. The pack searched in vain for where the trail picked up for a good 25 minutes. Finally, Claim to Flame crossed the creek, ran past a No Trespassing sign across private property, out to the street, past a police station, eventually finding an orphaned chick check. He signaled the pack from afar, they managed to find creek crossings themselves and eventually caught up.
A concerned neighbor yelled out “Get out of my yard” as the pack ran down a quiet Bella Villa street. Depth perception deficiencies are no laughing matter! On to another chick check mercifully followed by the Beer Stop. As the DFLs arrived, Licks and Sticks stopped for some relief, only to be creeped upon by a gentleman in a pickup truck who certainly lives the credo, Sit Low, Drive Slow: The Lemay Way.
The last short bit back to the park was uneventful, discounting the discarded bread loaf, Hoagie Halt and Grand Pricks Halt. Frankie ran a quick and efficient circle due to the late hour. Sex Pit was gifted a soiled cranium band for her 25th hash, the hares won hash shit for setting the absolute worst trail of the entire Trump administration, and swing low gently dismissed the pack into the good night.
Yours in soiled socks,Disco Ass