Nobody has written the Hash Trash yet...WHY ARE WE WAITING!?!?!
What to expect: A trail. Cold beer. Low temperatures (It's January).
What to bring: Headlamp/flashlight; $7 bucks, virgins, very warm clothes (It's January).
Walker-friendly: No (It's January), but there should be a short-cut trail, if that's what you're asking.
Wheelchair-friendly: No (It's January) Hi, Lazy.
Dog-friendly: No (It's January), but we doubt there will be fence-climbing, etc.
Will it be the best trail ever?: …It's January.